HomeMy WebLinkAboutCOM 0484.006 2020-2022 P/cou l
RDZ -21
From: Tasha Hakeem
Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 2021 11:53 AM ti. 59
To: Council Testimony
Cc: David, Maile
Subject: Res. 259-21 WRITTEN TESTIMONY
Attachments: STUDY COMPLETE - ACE Study - Adverse Childh000d Experinces.pcif; Santa Clara Law Study
Confronting-the-Challenge-of-the-High-Conflict-Personality-in-Family-Court.pdf; 2019
Meiers Study.pdf; Saunders Study COMPLETE - Child Custody Evaluators' Beliefs About
Domestic Abuse Allegations Their Relationship to Evaluator Demographics, Background,
Domestic Violence Knowledge and Custody- Visitation Recommendations.pdf, Proclamation
Family Court Awareness Month 2021 - Mayor Mitch Roth.pdf
Dear Hawaii County Council Chairwoman and Members,
It is with great appreciation that I respond to the resolution drawn up by Chairwoman Maile David. Thank you to the
Members who positively responded to this and your concern to see a shift in the family court system for the sake of
our children.
October is Domestic Violence (Abuse) Awareness month and so November is well chosen for Family Court
Awareness Month. When one leaves an abusive relationship, leaving doesn't equate to the abuse stopping. I had one
paralegal tell me early on in my divorce that, unlike a an obviously physically abusive relationship, mental and
emotional abuse is much harder to leave behind. That said, all types of abuse can then follow her, and their children,
into family court where the abuser uses the system to further abuse - in too many cases across the nation and here in
Hawaii, to the point of lethality. Thus, November is Family Court Awareness Month.
Awareness is the first step.
Please know there seems to be a serious lack of awareness and training in the family court system regarding domestic
abuse and custody, including with professionals who are often ordered into a case for the judges to lean on in their
decisions (parenting coordinators, GALS, Custody Evaluators. etc). And it is not for lack of availability to the current
research regarding domestic abuse and custody mentioned in Mayor Roth's Proclamation (see below and attached)
because the research is filed with the court and expert testimony has been heard in regards to Domestic
Abuse/Coercive Control and custody. Any evidence or testimony that shows the domestic abuse is either ignored or
when it has not been ignored, is then aggressively litigated against by the opposing counsel. I see time after time, in
my case and friends of mine here in a similar situation, these cases becoming quickly more about the father's rights
over the best interest of the child and children's rights to a safe and healthy home. I've had several attorneys respond
to my 4+ years of litigation as this is just how divorce is. That is unacceptable. Divorce should not be the next
experience of abuse, especially for our children, in order to move on with our lives into a healthier and
safer environment and community.
While I appreciate the court's attempts at keeping a father in their children's lives, fathers' rights should not be
trumping children's rights. In the majority of divorces, fathers and mothers make healthy decisions for their children
and protect them from harm. It is in the 3% of cases that are actually domestic abuse cases but are not being
recognized as such and labelled instead as "high-conflict" - blaming both parents. Mothers are often also held to much
higher standards than men in family court, fathers get away with documented actions that mothers lose custody over
entirely, and the primary attachment criteria is almost completely ignored thus causing even more harm early on in
pre-decree orders and court-ordered custody schedules.
Please accept my support of Resolution 259-21: November as Family Court Awareness Month.
Comm. No. _
Most sincerely, Ref. To:
Ref. Date NOV_
Tasha Hakeem
Kailua Kona, HI
Tasha Hakeem
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