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HomeMy WebLinkAboutCOM 0534.001 2006-2008 ~ ~ ~ ~ {F'' j} y _ ~ f," Q a, ~ a fl -ter ~ ~ ~ -g ~ 'i "r i~ "a. A k ~ ~ w ,~.y~ne in three fema/e high schoo~stoc~~:;~erng phys~C,~~p~rrf~%~tl}~ abused by a dating partner anp~'~ ~ w < 1 x~ s F~'^'a6 - ~ ~ 1~ ~ ~~n 40 percent of ma/e and fe ; . ~/~,s~~~. stu«rtrfas~uRye~~lbeet~ victims of dating vio/ence at /easC ~ x ~ >~viofent relationships in ado/escence carp; h~ , rarttr~at~~ltts l~cd- ~rrs~„~ rho are at higher risk for substance abtt~~` dfs~rtf/c~rs~'~b4jravio~ suicide, andadu/t re-victimizaUOx{;$ "~`ffi~ pef~ent of parents surveyed either-, tied vio/errc ,.T~`obfelii ie* admitted they did no know it is a prirbfetm, _ , ~ ` - ~~-~4.- the American Bar Association Steering Canfrtit~p;i# 1~ ~ , :f " Unmet { a€E'trddren has provided tool kits to 15 hrg;3~#idofszd[!e 1slano~+ttl~` fr M~ t~36 support of the State Department of Educa#3',~~u~~ ~ ~ £ 1 `f ~ A a, :;the Hawaii County Committee on the Stat,~ct' ~ ; supports r iYltlt funding from the Hawaii County Coun,~?d ~ i; r• ~ ~ Hawai team which participated in the Nano Te~tt - Da~i~ ~~i~,~`~t/on Initiative Summit in Washington, D.C., ~"~the 8f~rt #1,# ~q/fena High School student Kellie Kitaoka,..; ~ Prots~~at~~fftorrYe}~Caro/Kitaoka,andHawai`iStateCammissiAtr+"~~,,, r of War>i ~4alr errd kona Deputy Corporation Council Margaret hfa~trrrd ~lk~~'T'h'ORE, HARRY KIM, Mayor of the County ofr Hawar"f, d~ herebyp, a'/m"the week of Februarys-72, 2006, as TAY QAT`ING VIOLENCE AWARENESS AND PREVENTDI~ WrzF.~f . ~ ,t in the CQttnt`i' of Hawai i and urge al! citizens to be mindfuf of the fri9pcM'tarice of tee.0'wiolence prevention. lA~WITNESS WHEREOF, l have hereunto set m~ hand and nausea!-Tie Seal of ~Q.~rfunt}fof Hawaii to be affixed. D e this d~ clay ofJarruar~ 2006, in tfff~ 156~~rrr ~ " -Harty 1~, -',~~/,w~~.. . A~Byor` `f County of if,Riva/`i ' Comm. No._?~ Ref. To:~raeNe~ p}ScO~G -Ref. Date W,..- Pq~r,~......~ q ~ .(++q \95~ q~ i fw F~ Jf~+ M,,..O~. ~4:~®:~j.A4v~ WHEREAS, one in three female high school students report being physically abused or sexually abused by a dating partner; and WHEREAS, females ages 16 - 24 are more wlnemble to intimate partner violence than any other age group; and WHEREAS, among female victims of intimate partner violence, a curtent or former boyfriend or girlfriend victimized 94 percent ofthose between the ages of 16 - 19; and WHEREAS, more than 40 percent of male and female high school students surveyed had been victims of dating violence at least once; and WHEREAS, violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications for victims who are at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, suicide, and adult re-victimization; and +q~„ WHEREAS, 81 percent of parents surveyed either believed dating violence is not a problem or admitted they did no[ know i[ was a problem; and WHEREAS, the establishment of the State of Hawaf is "Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week" will bene5t schools, communities and families, regardless of socio-economic status, race or gender; and WHEREAS, the Hawaii Stale Commission on the Status of Women and Commissioners Mazgaze[ Masunaga, Sheila Leas, Susan Porsche, Mary Jo Sweeney, Carol Philips and Mona Chang Vierra, in conjunction with the American Bar Association, Steering Committee on [he Unmet Legal Needs of Children are working together to educate the public about preventing tcenagc dating violence, NOW, THEREFORE, I, LINDA LINGLE, Governor of the Stale of Hawaf i, do hereby proclaim February 6 through ]0, 2006, as TEEN DATING VIOLENCE AWARENESS AND PREVENTION WEEK m Hawaf 4 and urge all citizens m take part in activities and observances designed to promote awareness of the issues surrounding teen dating violence awareness and prevention. Dane at the S[a[e Capitol, in the Executive Chambers, Honolulu, State of Hawai i, this thirtieth day of January 2006. Linda Lingle Governor, State of Hawai i '+ryr PROCLAMATION WHEREAS, the Hawaii County Committee and the Hawaii State Commission on the Status of Women, are working together with the All Japan Domestic Violence Hotline Coalition and the Korean Women's Hotline Union to exchange information about domestic violence in America, Japan, and South Korea; and WHEREAS, the American Bar Association has provided training materials on Teen Dating Violence Prevention to high schools on the Island of Hawaii, and the Hawaii County Committee on the Status of Women supports this project with funding from the Hawaii County Council; and WHEREAS, Hawaii County Mayor Harry Kim, Hawaii County Prosecuting Attorney Jay Kimura, United States Attorney for the District of Hawaii Edward H. Kubo, Jr., Hawaii State Attorney General Mark Bennett, Honolulu Prosecuting Attorney Peter Carlisle, United State Congresswoman Mazie K. Hirono, and Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle, all support this program to educate and prevent dating violence; and `~.w- WHEREAS, Hawaii County Deputy Corporation Counsel and Chair of the Hawaii State Commission on the Status of Women, Margaret Kuroda Masunaga from Captain Cook, Hawaii, and All Japan DV Hotline Coalition representative Sachiko Takato from Hiroshima, Japan, are working together to provide information on Teen Dating Violence Prevention in America to the Hiroshima Prefecture community on July 7 and 8, 2007; and WHEREAS, the Hawaii State Senate passed Senate Resolution 55 during the Twenty-Fourth Legislature, Regular Session of 2007, in the State of Hawaii, introduced by Senate President Colleen Hanabusa, to have the Status of Women convene a network of organizations to support and develop local and international organizations addressing domestic violence, including the All Japan DV Hotline Coalition; and WHEREAS, Governor Yuzan Fujita, Hiroshima Prefecture Governor, Margaret Masunaga, Sachiko Takato, and interpreter Masako Unezaki, will meet on July 9, 2007, in Hiroshima, Japan, to discuss these Teen Dating Violence Prevention; NOW, THEREFORE, I, HARRY KIM, Mayor of the County of Hawaii, do hereby proclaim July 9, 2007, as TEEN DATING VIOLENCE PREVENTION AND EDUCATION DAY in the County of Hawaii in honor of the international exchange of information between Hawaii, and Hiroshima, Japan. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and caused The Seal of the County of Hawaii to be affixed. Done this day of 2007, Hilo, Hawaii. Harry Kim Mayor County of Hawaii a 07!19/2007 00:27 0089612277 HCPD HILO-JAS PAGE 02 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASE STATISTICS HAWAII COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT For the Period 1/1/2006 to 12/31/2006 ABUSE H KN K N NK PN ota otalCaaas 296 3r 7 34 6 8 13 60 937 Oh "ons A!C 131 18 08 14 1 1 07 21 409 34 5 4 3 4 18 2 102 . Su dad 14 21 5 1 3 13 2 69 am' rt 6 1 8 1 1 6 22 Unloundad 2 T 1 1 1 No on 89 6 77 5 1 5 31 19 212 ConBnuf 40 B 37 4 4 37 1 laarod 298 34 287 34 8 28 21 937 Clearance Rate' 10D 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 1 1 VIOLATION OF ORDER HL M N U NH NK PN SK Tote Total Casaa 12T 11 173 34 4 54 18 521 da oaluona ac ss t a as 39 5 22S 18 2 10 6 33 1 18 5 1 8 3 95 am Court 4 3 4 4 1 3 12 ProaeCUtlon 4 5 oMinui 28 8 2 2 1T g Tohl Cleared 127 1 173 4 64 1 621 karanu ate' 100% 100 1 1 100% 00% 1 10096 t0 \r+ 07/19/2007 08:27 8089612277 HCPD HILO-JAS PAGE 03 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CAST: STATISTICS ~r• HAWAII COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT For the Pariotl 1/1/2006 to 72!312006 SEXUAL ASSAULT 1MI200Q fn 1aJ37/2008 HL HM NK N K TOtq 88e6 3 0 80 9 2 4 71 1 8 Db ores AIC 7 4 1 1 13 16 2 17 4 1 1 4 57 en ed 1 14 22 47 Faml curt 2 4 UMou a 11 2 7 2 1 7 1 1 o Pro n 3 8 1 1 2 22 Con4nwn 34 6 42 3 1 1 4 T roa ea 1o so s 2 a 7 to Clarence Rete• 100 100% 100% 10 100% 100% 100 1 Page 1 of 1 Kitaoka, Carol From: Kelly, Nancy Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 5:38 PM To: Kitaoka, Carol Subject: Abuse slats Carol: Per Lillian Tavares - Period Jan. 1 -March 31, 2007 265 total abuse cases - 218 female victims - 18 cases victim 13-17 yrs old - 43 cases victim 18-24 yn; old 82 sex assault cases in 3 month period She's gonna break down the slats and some more and get back to you. ~rr 7/13/2007 NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ~ ~ • A • ~ • There were 8,013 reported cases of domestic violence in Hawaii in 1999.' • The average age of a mother who suffers from domestic violence in Hawaii is 35 years old.2 • Between 1990 and 2001 5,095 people reported being a victim of sexual assault crime.3 Women represented 90% of reported sexual assault victims between those years with the average age of the victim being 18 years old.4 Statistics show that through out every age group the majority of sexual assaults occurred in the victim's home, hotel room, or workplaces When victims were between the ages of 30-45 years old, 21 % identified the assailant was an intimate partners Hawaiian shelters served 848 victims and provided referral services to 10,928 victims in 1999. 9 ~E • • Because of its location, Hawaii and its surrounding islands are completely isolated from the continental 48 states, causing limited access to additional programs, training, and resources. Additionally, not all service providers are equipped with email or Internet access, thus information about services must be distributed by other means. • ~ • The purpose of the Coalition is to coordinate efforts to end family violence in Hawaii. The HSCADV provides education and training on family violence to service providers, collects resource materials, serves as a clearinghouse, provides technical assistance on family violence matters, and provides facilitation when requested by member agencies. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship and wants help, please contact the Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 1-808-832-9316 or access htto://www.hscadv.or°/ for a list of resources. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or the National Sexual Assault Hotline NATIONAL COAEITION AWINET OONESTIC VIOLENCE . ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A ~ , ~ ~ ~ ~ _ ~ S F A • S ~~~j .S • A ~ 1 A ~ ~ "»:~+aE Nem~ASil. Nome • SA - - ~ ~ S - t S A - S A • • - DATING VIOLENCE E„..s,. RESOURCE CENTER Teen 71,E}~r rp T7lOl~~ i www.ncvc.org/dvrc 1 'LG'u'-~15 V Tel. 202-469-8700 fact sheet Crime victims can ca[[ E-mail: dvrca tcvc.org 1-800-FYI-CALL M-F 8.~30am-8:30pm or a-mail ur at gethelp@ncvc.org. What is Dating Violence? Dating violence is controlling, abusive, and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It occurs in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships and can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or a combination of these. Incidence of Teen Dating Violence • Sexual assault victims experience more anxiety, depression, • Approximately 1 in 5 high school girls reports being abused by and thoughts of suicide than non-victims ~ a boyfriend.' • Initial reactions to rape and sexual assault include anger, • 40% of teenage girls ages 14-17 report knowing someone their depression, embarrassment, and guilt! age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.° • 50%80% of teens report knowing someone involved in a Dating Violence and Lhe Law violent relationship.` e • All 50 states and the Disrict of Columbia have laws against • Physical aggression occlus in 1 in 3 teen dating relationships. datin violence behaviors such as sexual assault, domestic • 33%of teenage girls report experiencing physical violence at violence, and stalking. However, the specific term "dating _ the hands of a dating partner.` violence" is almost never used in these laws. • Young women, ages f6-24, experience the highest rates of . In 39 states and the District of Columbia, victims of dating relationship violence. violence can a I for rotective orders peril • 12% of high school students (female and male) report PP Y P against the etrator. experiencing some form of dating violence " Age requirements and the language of the laws vary by state. • Date rape accounts for almost 70% of the sexual assaults reported by adolescent and college age women; 38°/a of those Who Can Help women are between 14 and 17 yeazs old." • Crisis hotlines or campus helplines can provide immediate ,Many studies indicate that as a dating relationship becomes assistance and referrals to sexual assault or domestic violence more serious the potential for and nature of violent behavior programs that provide shelter, counseling, support groups, also escalates.' legal assistance, and medical services/accompaniment. • University and college health centers often offer counseling Victlme and DtaLlag Violence services. Campus police or school judicial programs can • Victims may remain in an abusive relationship for many provide sanctions for on-campus violations. reasons, including: fear of the perpetrator, self-blame, • Legal options include reporting to the police, obtaining minimization of the crime, loyalty or love for the perpetrator, protective orders, and cooperating with criminal prosecution. social or religious stigma, or lack of understanding. Tke Dating Molence Resource Center, a program of the National Center for Victims of Crime, provides Vaitring and technical assistance to the Office on Violence Against Women grant recipients in order to increase awareness of and commitment to addressing teen dating violence and to help craft wmmunity-specific responses to meet the needs of teenage victims of dating violence. a Silvemtart e[ al., "Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated f C. M. Rennison and S. Welchans, "BJS Special Report: Intimate Partner Substance Use, Unhealiby Weight Comrol, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, Violence;' USIJOJ-OJP, NCJ 178247, (2000). and Suicidelity;' !AMA, (2001). g R Gelles and Cornell C. Pedrick, /mimare Vio/ence in Families, (Newbury b "Children Now," Kaiser Permanents poll, December 1995. Park, CA: Sage, 1990), 66. c M. O'Keefe and L. Treater, "Victims of Dating Violence Among High School h B. Lary, /bring Violence, (Seattle: Seal Press, 1991), 9. Students," Violence Against Women, 4, no. 2 (1998): 195-223, i Teen Doting Violence Resource Manual, (Denver: National Coalition Against d Avery-Leaf and Cascardi,"Dating Violence ~ducation;'Preventing Violence Domestic Violence, 1997), 17. in Relmionshiµr, (Washingtoq DC: American Psychological Association, j B. Caponera, "Guidelines for Counseling Adolescents in Sexually Coercive 2002), 82. Relationships," New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, (1998). e Remarks by fudge Richard Lee at "Love and Violence and Perpetrators;' New York Ciry Coalition for Women's Mental Health, January 1991. This document was developed under gran[ number 2002-X1678-DC-WT from the OtRce on Violence Against Women (OVW) of the S. DeDartmen[ of Justice. The opinions and views expressed in this document are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of ,,..he Office of Violence Against Women of the U.S. Department of Justice. This document may be reproduced only in its entirety. Any alterations must be approved by the Dating Violence Resource Center. Contact us at (202) 467-8700 or dvrc@ncvc.org, Da[ing Violence, (ACADVj http://www.acadv.org/dating.html ~ ~ ~I Dating Violence ' - _ . . Dating Bill of Rights ! ' Signs I Clues I Help I Safety I Planning IStatistics I I have a right to: Dating Powerand_Cpnfr4l Wheel Ask for a date Teenagers often experience violence in dating relationships. Statistics show that Refuse a date one in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. In dating Suggest activities violence, one partner tries to maintain powe. r and control over the other through Refuse any activities, abuse. Dating violence crosses all racial, even if my date is economic and social lines. Most victims are excited about them young women, who are also at greater risk for serious injury. Young women need a Have my own feelings datin safe ..plan. and be able to express them Say, "I think my friend Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers is wrong and his typically: actions are inappropriate" • are inexperienced with dating relationships. are pressured by peers to act violently. Tell someone not to • want independence from parents. interrupt me have "romantic" views of love. Teen dating violence is influenced by how teenagers look at Have my limits and themselves and others. values respected Young men may believe: Tell my partner when I need affection • they have the right to control" their female partners in any way necessary. Refuse affection • "masculinity" is physical aggressiveness ge heard • they "possess" their partner. • they should demand intimacy. Refuse to lend money • they may lose respect if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends. Refuse sex any time, Young women may believe: for any reason . they are responsible for solving problems in their Have friends and relationships space aside from my .their boyfriend's jealousy, possessiveness and even Partner physical abuse, is "romantic." • abuse is "normal" because their friends are also being abused. I have the • there is no one to ask for help. responsibility to: Teenagers can choose better relationships when they learn Determine my limits 1 of 5 7/18/2007 9:39 AM Dating Violence, (ACADV) http://www.acadv.org/dating.html to identify the early warning signs of an abusive and values relationship, understand that they have choices, and believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with Respect the limits of respect. others ,f~fi/Y'• Early warning signs that your date may eventually Communicate clearly become abusive: and honestly Not violate the limits • Extreme jealousy Shows hypersensitivity of others .Controlling behavior Believes in rigid sex • Quick involvement roles Ask for help when I • Unpredictable mood Blames others for his need it swings problems or feelings . Alcohol and drug use Cruel to animals or Be considerate .Explosive anger children • Isolates you from Verbally abusive Check my actions and friends and family • Abused former partners decisions to • Uses force during an • Threatens violence determine whether argument they are good or bad for me Common clues that indicate a teenager may be Set high goals for experiencing dating violence: myself From the Domestic • Physical signs of injury • Use of violence Advocacy . Truancy, dropping out of drugs/alcohol Program of Family school Pregnancy Resources, Inc. . Failing grades Emotional outburst • Indecision Isolation .Changes in mood or personality From the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence newsletter, Winter 1999 Help is available for teenagers If you are a teenager involved in an abusive relationship, you need to remember that no one deserves to be abused or threatened. Remember you cannot change your batterer, and in time the violence will get worse. You need to take care of yourself. Talk to a trusted adult or locate a shelter or agency serving victims of domestic abuse in your community. Together, you can talk about making a plan to end the relationship and remain safe. Call the Alabama Domestic Violence 24-hour hotline, 1-800-650-6522. Help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. ~r' Information adapted in part from the Rose Haven Center for Domestic Violence in Gadsden (AL). 2 of 5 7/18/2007 9:39 AM Dating Violence, (ACADV) http://www.acadv.org/dating.html More Help loveisrespect.org is a new 24 hour resource that utilizes telephone and web-based interactive technology to reach '~w~ teens and young adults experiencing dating abuse. The Helpline numbers are: (866) 331-9474 and TTY (866) 331-8453. The peer to peer online individual chat function is available from 4 p.m. to midnight and can be accessed from the website. Dating Safety • Consider double-dating the first few times you go out with a new person. • Before leaving on a date, know the exact plans for the evening and make sure a parent or friend knows these plans and what time to expect you home. Let your date know that you are expected to call or tell that person when you get in. • Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence of alcohol or drugs. • If you leave a party with someone you do not know well, make sure you tell another person you are leaving and with whom. Ask a friend to call and make sure you arrived home safely. • Assert yourself when necessary. Be firm and straightforward in your relationships. • Trust your instincts. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to be calm and think of a way to remove yourself from the situation. From the Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, Inc. Safety Planning for Teens You should think ahead about ways to be safe if you are in a dangerous or potentially dangerous relationship. Here are some things to consider in designing your own safety plan. • What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse? • What people at school can you tell in order to be safe-teachers, principal, counselors, security? • Consider changing your school locker or lock. • Consider changing your route to/from school. • Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities. • What friends can you tell to help you remain safe? • If stranded, who could you call for a ride home? • Keep a journal describing the abuse. • Get rid of or change the number to any beepers, ~i pagers or cell phones the abuser gave you. • Keep spare change, calling cards, number of the 3 of 5 7/18/2007 9:39 AM Dating Violence, (ACADV) http://www.acadv.org/dating.html local shelter, number of someone who could help you and restraining orders with you at all times. Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person? What other things can you do? Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per capita rates of intimate violence--nearly 20 per 1000 women. (Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000) Teen Dating Statistics • About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. • Forty percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. • In one study, from 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced teen dating violence. • Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners. • In 1995, 7 percent of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends. • One in five or 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship. • One of five college females will experience some form of dating violence. • A survey of 500 young women, ages 15 to 24, found that 60 percent were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship. • One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age. • A survey of adolescent and college students revealed that date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults. • More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance. • Six out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or a friend or relative's home, not in a dark alley. • More than 4 in every 10 incidents of domestic violence involves non-married persons (Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000) 4 of 5 7/] 8/2007 9:39 AM a c 0 0 _ N 71 ~ ^t~ N ~ d rn v y u ~ 9 > P L C l~ N N T N ~ ~ d m u m o N ao > y v o ~ v ~ v a 10 w> c v v a in ter. o ~ o y E> F u 4~ O N Q d L~~ y y 0 .y N O L f~ D U~ d~ i= ~ ~ ~'e w m a r ~ i v v m m w r u ~ c o. ~ w c d y O A 3~ m u a r y v 'T v i m ~ v` v r a a o Y~ o y E uoi 'm n a E a E a 3 c uwi ~ i, f Y N C~ C~ N C ~ n M~ n~ N T~ C L a u k V L Q 9 01 E V ~ O~ B O N N O ~ d C u .N Y O O p U m ~ W d '.c-. ~ S i 3 m~ ~ v E E v' y w Yi Y i F a d m n E o o y o- -y o 0 o x o~~ `o $ Ul F v v a m c ~ c 3~ rn O 3 v> o w ~ 3 t N a z ~ ~ a = a _ C] S L ~ - fJt ~ 2O2 ~ _ ~ d F A u W h w. > 3 N y_ R' Q C p ''s m> O ~Yi~ J k m m N } W ~ yyII~, V O C ~ ~ o E. gip` v V 7 C U V= y~ ~ j~ C ~ ag_ A wT ai W ~ ro' a e, E-° E N ;?..1 s G v° ~c L c O ~ ~ ' ~ t' u ~ p O u n ~ ~ O N m v ry^ C N~ C ~R l ..r '4 N 6~ 3 i N a rn ~ y 0 a ~ o c v ~ _ v o m ~ ~ VY h j > W d _O D a U V' - J J m ~ E w v n u ~ G."r+ ~ F ~ p c rn T 4 L c A ~ w ~ ~ m A ~ ,Hwn, J y Q Q N ~1 y CL w 0 0 N N ~ ~~,~,~t,~~' N rn L y i 'p y C in 9 N N > y U N O 41 ` C 'O d 3 ~ n in C 3 ~ V d H i H O b d= n L C J N U v- ~ c L rn n E ~ H L ti m° rn w c w a ~ L~ F m in m v" v > r t n 7 ~ '0 2' m o m c J u H 3 a a L y c m y y 'o v v n ~ L$ o a y c m m Eo y r"? 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O V y ~ ~ YWl ® ~ ~ ~ L ~ ~ W 7 N 'O O ~ N y~ C W T CSC t q° ~ ~ w m y 3 n cd m~ o' ~ v 9 w y o ° v 3„ a W ~ g i~° a m ~ _ o' > 'n a c ~ a vi u` ~ o v 3 E E a u E ~ £ m ~ w ° E o` m 3 ~ ~ ~ S y a ° o T o v c ~ c~ rv v E v wt. v ' 1~' _ OO E o` - 0 5 cm 'L7 x Try ic~~~ PREVALENCE AND ERECJUENCY ¦ Teen dating violence runs across race, gender, and socioeconomic lines. Both males and females are victims, but boys and girls arc abusive in different ways: • Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick; • Boys injure girls more severely and frequently; • Some teen victims experience violence occasionally; • Others are abused more often...sometimes daily. "T'en Virtim Prajrr6"NrznanaJ Crnter for 1/irtimr of Crime, htrp://n~wu~.nrvr.mg/tvp, O1vt euitrd 10/5/04). ¦ A comparison of Intimate Partner Violence rates between teens and adults reveals that teens are at higher risk of intimate parmcr abuse. Jay G Silverman et A( "Dating Vialmrr Agrsirrn Adolesrent Gii$ andAror4rred Subsmnre Uie, Unhealiby lYreigbt Control. Sesual Rirk Behavior, Preg,mng, and Sreiczda[irµ "Jovnral of the Autrrirau Mrdirrzl Asaoriation, t'al. 286, 77?. 576577. (Noe S. 2001). ¦ Females ages 16-24 arc more vulnerable to intimate parmer violence than any other age group - at a rate almost triple the national average. iL,S. Ueparnnenr of Junice, Bureau offiorire Saa[istirr, Sprcia(Report Lrrintatr Pammr Violenrc and Age of Virtim. 1993-29 (Orr. 200[, rev. 77/28101). ¦ Approximately 1 in 5 female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abased by a dating partner. Jay G. Silverman, P6D: dnira Raj, P6D: Lorrlei A..blumi. NIPFd; and Jeanne E. Hathaway MU, MPH, noting Rnlrnrr Against Adoleeeut Girt turd A<soriatrd Substanrr U.~e. Iiuhrvdtby 1R4ighs Control SernrzJ Ruk Behariur, Pregnanry, and.Sviada/ity, "journal n/~thrAmeriran MrdiralArm~iatian, L'n1. 7.86, (No. 5, 2001). ¦ Among female victims of intimate partner violence, a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend victimized 94% of those between the ages of 16-19. U.S. Or(iarrnxnt o/Jrutim, Offire of Jurti.r Progrmn5 Bureau offru'rire Sdatistig7, (2001). s Between 1993 and 1999, 2Z% of all homicides against females ages 16-19 were committed by an intimate partner. Bureau ofJrvtire Smtinirs l}rls Re Lase, "Violrnrr Rata Among Buimare Parmrn Di[/er Grerttly Auordmg to Age."(I (!/?9i0J). ¦ La a study of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents, youdts involved in same-sex dating azc just as likely to experience dating violence as youths involved in opposite sex dating. `Prevalerzm of Prtnrzer I/io%nre in Smne-Sex Ramarzhc turd Sexual Relrztimuhips in a Nuimral Sample ofAdolarenn, "Halpern GT Yovug Mf„ l¢rt(Lr MIG, Marn'n .SL. Kupprr LC. Jnuntm(ofAdo/erz'erzt Hem(rh, 1'a[. i5. Lsue 3, Yager 124-13J, (Au~qust 3009). ¦ Neazly one-half of adult sex offenders report committing their first sexual offenses prior to the age of 18. Ron Snipe, et AL °Reridavism in }bnreg Adulthood, Adolerrent Srxrurl OfJbtden' Grourrz Up," 25 Crimimd Juarcr t3' Brbavior. 109, 117, (U'JS). 02006 American Bar Assoc'arlon 1 L'):vni 'ii V ~~':014 v I4'r YePvt~ boa IuiY,nuVE ¦ 58% of rape victims report being raped between the ages of 12-24. Hraldi Rewvrcrr and Servirer Admbrin~a[ion pIR.SAJ, Marenea[ and Chili! Hea[tb Iivreau, L{S. Uepamuent nfHea(th and Human Semimr (HHSJ, (2002). ~ I falf of the reported date rapes occur among teenagers. (,-a(ffornirz Coalition Againrt Srxua(A»uu[t (C~37.C?15AJ 2002 Reporz; Rr~mrah me Rapr and 4ro(rnre. hrtp://wuav.uarasvnvma.orgJtenuitelnrttirdFa htm$Child/l rrn;a?OVfdrmizatinrt (I rttt Viritrd 1(1/7/04). ~ Intimate partner violence among adolescents is associated with increased risk of substance use, unhealthy weight control behaviors, sexual risk behaviors, pregnancy, and suicide. d1olidor, Tolman, tf' Aobar. (3000); Natimazl Cenrer,~or /njvry Prevention and Control (2001). PARENTAL AWARENESS ® 81 % of parents surveyed either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don't know if it's an issue. "W'omo$ Health,"June/July 3004. h'amfly t7o(enre Prerrrztinn Surd and ddvroeatrr fDr Yavb, Attp.dHumw mrd.arnieh rdulwbpGmwrktterrlcemmer04/p03-dating.bnrd, (Lars virited 9/23/04). e A majority of parents (54%) admit they've not spoken to their child ahout dating violence. Empower Program, rparovrid by Liz Claiborne Int. and rondratrsl by h"r~au/adgr Nrtwvrkt Sorirtl C,~onirol. L'erbal Above, and V'ro%nre Ammrg Treaaoer_c (2000). TEEN AWARENESS ¦ Nearly 25% of 14-17 vear-olds surveyed know at least one sntdent who was a victim of dating violence, while I 1°/v know mukiple victims of dating violence. 33°ro of teens have actually wio- nesscd such an event. fimpomer Program, rponwred by 1.iz C[rrrborne Inc and rmedurted by h5mw4dgr .Networkr, Sorial Canrm! L'erbaLffiurr, and Kolenre Among Teereagrry (2000). ¦ 20%i of surveyed male students report wimessing someone they go to high school with physi- cally hit a person they were dating. Tiff6ny J. Zmirkrr. Edurmivn Toliry Brief "The Grrpenative ofUmelvping Tiers Dating Violence Prevenrion «nd Grrervention 1'rogramr iu Srrnvda,y SebooL." 11 Soatbmr Califo*nia Review of Law and lY$meni Studiry Lit, (2002). ~ 39% of female high school students report that students talk in school about whet}ter some- one is attempting to control the person they are dating. 1'~any J. Ztri der, Eilucatiar Poltty Brief, 'The Imperative of Developing Tern Dating Vrolenrr Prenemion and Grtervrntiav Pro~znmr in Serorsdary SrhooG."l? Southern Cal fonria 14r•iew ofl.aw and lYiomars Snrdrer. 131, (2002). `r..+a' ©2006 American Bar Assoi anon 2 .-~i:iti •v - v C. ~?tr=s ~ tv(.k viFe m; ti innlf:m/e ~ 57% of teens Imow someone who has been physicall}s sexually, or verbally abusive in a dating relationship. /.iz Clrtibnrne Inc., Conducted Gy 7knage Retrnrrh Unlirnitrd, (F Gruorp 20051. m l5% of girls know a friend or peer who has been pressured into either intercourse or oral sex. Li. Claibors /nr., Conducted lry T¢rnage Research Un(inuted, (Fcbrnury 2005). ¦ One in three teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped or physically hurt by their dating partner. l.ir Clrtibnnte Inc, Cmeduercd by %eenagc Xrrmr,h Unlimited. (Fehruorp 2005). ~ In 9 out of 10 rapes in which the offender is under 18, so is the victim. Health Rctvnrcet and Serotcrs Admenitmrtimt !HRS.IJ, Maternal mtd Chid Hraltb Bnrrau, U. S. Deyurtnmut vfHealth and Human Sen~irer (HHSL Fnct Sheer an Vio/core: Ada(erants 3Ywmq Aduld, 5, (2002). INCIDENT REPORTING ¦ When female high school students were asked whom they would talk to if someone they date is attempting to control them, insults them, or physically harms them, 86% percent said they +~rr would confide in a friend, while only 7% said they would talk to police. Tifjimy f. lu~irker, Ee/ueatimt Pvliry Brief "Fhe Imperative of Drve(oping !rnr Da/ing l iolrnrt P~evrntimt mtd lnrervnnNme Ro~grans bn Secondary Srhoa&.° l2 Swothern Califrtrreia jleoteu, of Lam mtd Wonanti Stadies. l3j, (2002). ¦ 83% of IOth graders surveyed at the 4th Annua] Teeu Dating Abuse Summit reported chat they would sooner turn ro a friend for help with dating abuse than to a teacher, counselor, parent or other caring adult. The Norshau Wcttrh¢ster Shdtrr, with Tarc W'nmeniJuerire Cotter, (,9pri12003). ¦ Only 33°/t of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse Liz Claiborne jnr., Cartdvcmd by lien,vg¢ Research iinlnniaed. (February 20051. CONTRIBUTING FACTORS ¦ A study of 1,600 juvenile sexual assault offenders nationwide indicated that only around 33%> of the juveniles perceived sex as a way ro demonstrate love or caring for another person; 23.5% percent perceived sex as a way t:o feel power and control; 9.4% as a way to dissipate anger; 8.44/o percent as a way to punish. Cali/r+rnia Coalition Again# Scrua/ Anateh (CALCASA) 200217epom Rarnrch on ILrye and Vinlemn bttR://u~u~m um-amnnma,org/reeruirehmnrrirehtmA'GvildlTren'/n20Viritm+zation. (Cart virired 70/1/0+). GW '2006 American Bar Asrodetion 3 ?orent ff v i rtuir, y vFR' i "a ui?itAin' ¦ A University of Texas medical center study of new mothers, age 18 and younger, chronicled numerous reports of being slapped, hit, kicked or physically hurt by a husband m boyfriend. Most of the violent incidents occurred during the first three months after childbirth. S. Ilarrykistvun, h1.P1i., V Ridkert, Pry.D. and C. ll°irmm~n, PG. D, (2007). u Both victims and abusers attribute the responsibility for violenc daring behavior to victims, caused by: provocation by the girl; the victim's personality type; the girl's need for affection; communication problems; and peer group influence. Fraarinr Laroir rt Al, Teeu Dating Xdatiouships~ avdA,Zgreuion, (200?). s 77% of Female and 67% of male high school students endorse some form of sexual coercion, including unwanted kissing, hugging, genital contact, and sexual intercourse. M. furksorz, B Cram j9' F.'W Seymour. Journal ofPami/y L'iolenre, (?000). ¦ Male peer support for violence against women is a constuu predictor of male violence within post-secondary educational institutions. 44arrin U. SrHuartz t4 W,tltxr S. DrKrrrrereAx aggreganau Bia.~ mrd Wamme Abure, ° (2000f. ¦ 50%r of youth reporting both dating violence and rape also reported attempting suicide, com- pared to 12.5% ofnon-abused girls and 5.4% ofnon-abused boys. D..M Arkar<~ hlirnreapolir, I~IN. and U. NeumarkSetainrr, Divirime of ~pidernio(agy, Srboal of Public F/ealth, Ursineerity of Minntsore, bPiuuatPolis, MN. 7)ae I/iolenm and Odte Rape Arnovg Adolereents: Auoaatioar with Uirordemd Eatiug 6ebaaiorr and Pryebulogiea! HeaGb."C%ild Abase d Neglect. 26 d55-t73. (2002). THE LEGACY t~F RELATIONSHIP ABUSE a More than half of both prison and jail inmates serving time for violence against an intimate were using drugs, alcohol or both at the time of the incident for which they were incarcerated. US'. DeRarnurrt nffm'riee. kitty:/.'wu~w.vjy.wdoj.goa/bjrlpub/prza/r•i.Tr, (1,998). (Gan vieited 9/04.1 ¦ The severity of violence among intimate partners has been shown to increase if the pattern has been established in adolescence. S.L. Fidd of M.A_ Schuss, Crimiuolapy, 141-I61, (1989). ¦ Pancras of dating violence behavior often start early and carry through into adult relationships. l?A. Forrhee rt A[, /fealt/r Edumrion Rerrarrb, II(3)_ 2r5-2SG (I99GI. ¦ Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications for victims: Many will con- tinue to be abused in their adult relationships and are at a higher risk for substance abuse, eat- ing disorders, risky sexual behavior, and suicide. Jay G. ,Silrerntait /'h D, et A/, "DaeigQ 4'iodorre Againn,9dnlesrent Girls andA>soriated Suhstunre Uie, 1inAealdry Weiglot Control 'WCW" Snwal Rick BeGavior, IS~egnancy and SuitidaG'ty "fonrna[oftbe ,9rnrrfrmt MedindAi>od~ulou, (2001). X2006 Amaricao Bor Assoc"ation 4 ?"IihNAI r V ~t „ +YSi fkY'~ i J pli ltA[CJ` 1~ARMIMtr SIGBd5 FC1R 'fEESd5 YOU MRY BE iN A VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP ¦ He tells you he can't live without you. ¦ She blames you for her problems. ¦ He breaks or hits things to intimidate you. ¦ Your weight, appearance, or grades have changed dramatically since you started seeing this person. ¦ He threatens to hurt himself or others if you break up with him. ¦ The person you are dating acts jealously, says jealous things, or exhibits aggressive behaviors towards vou. ¦ He pressures you. into having sex, or forces you to do sexual things you don't want to do by saying, "If you really loved me you would..." ¦ She humiliates you and belittles your opinions. ¦ The person you are dating slaps or shoves you in a seemingly playful way, but it happens ofren and doesn't seem right. ¦ IIe is jealous and possessive about the time you spend with your friends. ¦ She is constantly checking up on you, and asking where you arc and what you arc doing. ¦ The person you date has severe mood swings or constam bad moods. ¦ She wants to limit your other school activities, so you can °be together more." ¦ You're frightened of him and worry about how he'll react to things you say or do. ¦ He wants your relationship ro get serious too quickly, and he infuses to rake "no° for an answer. ¦ They blame past bad relationships on everything or everybody else instead of accepting any of the responsibiliq~. She abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them with her even when you don't want to. ¦ His statements or actions indicate that he thinks men should be in control and women should do what they're told. C?12006 Amermon Bar ASSOdation 1 =i',Vnl ~k Ni^:WGN YV~P P4tv~i ryv ?I?1iAi'Nr ¦ The person you're with treats you like property rather than a person they value. ¦ When she gets angry she calls you names, kicks, hits, and pushes you. ¦ He is abusive or aggressive towards inanimate objects and animals. ¦ The person you are dating forces you to choose being with them over your family and friends. ¦ She makes you feel that her needs and desires come before yours. ¦ He makes you feel afraid to express your own thoughts or feelings, make decisions about how to spend your money, what xo wear, where to go, or who to hang out with. ¦ She (ashes out or blames you for her bad day. ¦ Your family and friends have warned you about this person or have told you that they're warned about your safer}'. ¦ }ie may use ox own weapons, and has a history of violence and fighting. ¦ She blows disagreements out of proportion. ¦ The person you arc with tells you they dislike }'our parents and friends. ¦ He has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked, or physically bun you. ¦ She constantly threatens to break up with you, or constantly accuses you of planning to break up with her. • He treats his mother disrespectfully. ¦ 'the person you're with often loses their temper wide yrou, verbally assaults you, sometimes threatens you, or brags about mistreating others. ¦ She wants you to he available to her ac all times. ¦ The person you are dating treats their parents bat{ly. ¦ His threats and anger are followed by vows oP love and pleas for your forgiveness. vr•' 0 `1006 American BOr Assoclanon 2 ~ none:! I v or,'us Y _ i i : ti aai„v tiVllitlVlPdG SICxC+lS FCpl2 TEERIS 50MEONE YOU KNOW MAY 6E IN A VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP ¦ His girlfriend is always checking up on him, calling or paging him, and demanding m know where he's been and whom he`s been with. ¦ He acts extremely jealous when she talks to other guys, even when only a friendly conversation. ¦ A teen you know seems to be: emotionally broken down; sad all of the time; constantly bruised; unusually quiet extremely withdrawn; isolated; nervous when talking around nc~ person they're dating; acting oddly; afraid. ¦ Your friend seems to be: detached from everyone and everything; constantly distracted; unwilling m listen to your advice about her relationship; uninterested in your observations; ill and out of school a lot, unable to stop crying. ¦ Her weight, appearance, or grades have changed dramatically since she started dating hint. ¦ I Ie always seems worried about upsetting her. ¦ Since she started dating him, she frequently cancels plans with you and other friends ar the last minute, giving reasons thaz sound uutrue. ¦ He constantly apologizes for her behavior and makes excuses for her. ¦ She has injuries she can't explain, or the explanation she gives seems lame. ¦ You've seen him lose his temper and break or damage things when he's angry. ¦ She seems depressed a lot since she's been bating him. ¦ Since they've been dating, he's given up things that used to be important to hint, such as spending time with friends or the activities he used to participate in. ¦ She constantly worries about making him angry. ¦ He constantly calla about how to do something harmful, or says how `cool' violem acts ate. ¦ Since he began dating her, he has become more and more isolated from everyone else. ¦ When she and her boyfriend are together with oilier people, he cells mean stories about her, calls her names like, "stupid," "slut," "dog," or generally puts her down. ¦ Someone you know who is in a relationship suddenly seems to have noticeable medical prob- lems: they're always going to the doctor; are out side a lot, show weight loss and/or hair loss. ¦ One of the teens has a hisrory of being cruel or abusive in their past relationships. ©2006 American Bai Asrodation 3 ~ i c--iwd ~t v ,F nis rvti !'+Evn i:v iNa,.nt ro[ '~~~~1~~ sl~~us ~cs~ r~~~~nsrs ¦ Since your teen has been dating this person, they've dropped school activities that used to be important to them. ¦ Since he's been dating her, your song grades have begun ro fail. ® You see sudden, uncharacteristic changes in your daughter's clothing or make-up that only began afrer she started daring him. ¦ Since your teen has been seeing this person, you've noxiced a change in their body language (e.g. slouching, biting fingernails, nervousness, little or no eye conxaa). ® You see constant bruises, nonce other signs of injury, or damaged personal property, and your teenager's explanations seem out of place or don't make sense. ¦ Your son's girlfriend has an extraordinary influence on his behavior and decisions. ¦ Yow teen is not eating, not talking, and not acting as they normally would. ¦ You notice sudden changes in your teenager's mood or personality since They began dazing this person.'I'hey have a consxant bad rempcr and emotional outbursts. ~..e ¦ Your son seems increasingly aiixious or depressed since he's been seeing her. ¦ Your daughter's conversations with her boyfriend are often in the form of explanations, con- cerning where she's been, what she's been doing, and whom she's been wixh. ¦ Since he started seeing her, your son has suddenly become secretive and is acting out. ("Peens naturally have some secretive behaviors since this is a period in Life when they are trying to establish their identity Parents should respect that bur pay attention to an increase in secre- tive or odd behaviors.) ¦ Your daughter stopped seeing friends and family members, and is becoming more and more isolated. ¦ Since they began daring, your teenager is avoiding eye contact with }'ou, having `crying jags,' or getting'hysrerical. ¦ Your son wnstandy apologises for his girlfriend's behavior and makes excuses for her. ¦ Your teen has a sudden change in dress, which uncharacteristically covers them up (it may be ro cover injuries). ¦ Your daughter's boyfriend acts extremely jealous when others pay attention to her...especial- ly when it's other guys. `"o"" CrJ 2006 Amenmo Bar Assoc'atlon 4 Gh>V 1 N ~"-•i>~G [ti•i. rk F, ni.'ti unii,.r,,:, ¦ Excessiae telephone calling can be a sign of an abusive relationship. Pay attention to that, especially if you notice much of the conversation is }'our tech justifying what they've beeu doing and with whom. • You know your teen's boyfriend or gidfrieod has a temper, but when they're around you they're extraordinarily charming. ¦ Your son's girlt}fiend tells him that you don't like her. ¦ When your daughter and her boy6iend are together around you, you notice he calls her names and puts her down. ¦ Since your teenager started dating this person, they have become increasingly insecure, destructive and angry. ¦ Your teen shows bullying behaviors, which could indicate they have the potential to be abu- sive in a dating relationship. WARNING SIGNS FOR SCHOOL PERSONNEL • Since the two students starred hanging out with each other, one of them is having consistent school artendance problems. • A previously good student has a noticeable downward change in their grades and you know they've been hanging out with someone in particular since their schoolwork began to suffer. ¦ A student suddenly requests changes in their school schedule. • A female student has a sudden noticeable weight change. ¦ You notice a student suddenly no longer hangs out with the group of students they generally spent time with and instead are hanging out with one particular person all the time. ¦ A student demonstrates changes in their behavior that are more passive or quiet than usual. • A student seems suddenly isolated from die clique she used to be with and appears sad or withdrawn. ¦ One person seems to be controlling the other. • Physical: one person's arm is always firmly around the other person. Social: one of the two people looks dawn or straight ahead -not at others. `irr? 02006 American Bar Asaocaflon 5 i~~hAt °.E v ~-~RR, 'Ji v*r:'i I,^J ir.'tIA'itis ~ 'T'here is a drastic shift from the way the kid usually dressed since they've been hanging out so much with one particular person. If their clothing is unusually covering, they maybe hiding injuries. ~ You nonce a student has constant bruising or ocher injuries. • A female sttulertt has constant bruising on her arrns. WARNIfsOG SIGPIS FO82 MENT~~ HEALTH PRAFESSI~NA6.5 AIVD SCH~~L CQt3P~SEt062S ~ When you ask about the teen's relationship with the person they are dating they say "fine" in a quick response, axe generally non-responsive, or silent, and they don't make eye-contact with you. • Be aware that in some cultures, such as in NativeAmerican culture, prolonged eye-contact nary be a fm~m ofdisrespect. ,So the physician ar other health care profes~~ional should be aware ofcultural differences wlrirb, ifwrongly interpreted, could exacerbate or create unwar- rmetedproblems. ~ The teen scents to have little social interaction with other teens outside oFthe person they arc dating. • They no longer hang out with their usual friends and seem sad about that. u It sounds like they are covering alt for the person they are dating. • They give suspicious excuses w{~en you ask certain questions about the person. • The teen's friend alerted you about concer:u regarding the couple, best when you ash about it, the teen makes excuses for their boyfiiersd's/gir~iertd's behavior, which doesn't sound valid or sincere. ¦ The teen is having sdtool attendastce problems that began when they started dating a partic- ular person. ¦ One person in the relationship is clearly controlling the other. ~ The teen has bruising or other injuries that seem odd or not adequately explained. • A female bas bruising on her arms. ® The teen's clothing seems uncharacteristic for the season or is exnemely covering. They may he dressing to cover up injuries! ¦ A student suds{only requests your help to change their school schedule. • The teen refuses to participate in the conversation when you attempt to ask pointed ques- ~r'^ ©2006 Americon Bar Amoc'aYion 6 .~Ti<,rc1i'i'v D'ai::: rw;.r vkr~' ~ iJ^~ iu'.t~',.: o: tions about your suspicions of abuse or when you suggest intervention. • Or they make light ofyour ruspirions anti insist t-verythingi OK, or the problem is just a minor lover's spat. WARNING SIGPIS FC1R PMYSICIAPIS AM99 MEAtTM CARE EsROFESSIANALS ¦ Your teen patient's demeanor is guarded or seems fearful. • Your teenage patient has physical complaints or signs of injury with no causal explanations. ¦ You are seeing this teenage client because of a drug overdose or suicide attempt. ¦ The patient complains of frequent headaches or other signs of stress. ¦ You notice your teen patient has injuries in various stages of healing or has several health issues of concern...a11 at the same time. ¦ Your teenage patient suffers from anxiety, depression, or insomnia. ¦ She says she was assaulted by an alleged "stranger," but her story doesn't seem to support chat. ¦ When you ask your patient questions about their boyfriendlgirlfriend, they seem evasive or guarded, and won't make eye-contact with yot,. • Be aware tfiat in some cultures, such as in Native American culture, prolonged eye-contact rnuy be a form of disrespect. So the physician or other heakh care professional should be aware of creltural di_ fjerences which, if rurongly interpreted, could exacerbate or create unwur- rantedproblems. ¦ You notice she has mid-arm bruising, and she gets nervous and anxious when you ask about it. ¦ lour teen patient has ulcers or other stomach problems. ¦ When you ask your teen patient how he's doing in school, you find out he has failing grades and no future school plans. ¦ You suspect an abusive relationship, and rnentio? it m your teen client, but they become unduly etnbartassed and deny the suggestion quickly and strongly. 'vy~,. • Your teen patient has experienced dramatic weight loss and/or hair loss. 84e~6 American Bar Asoc'ation 7 ~ ~ u~:vni °a K i r~ ~ .nv~r t ~na;rr.vv ~ She appears to have an eating disorder. ar Your teenage patient's boy6'iend or girlfriend won't leave the exam room and, when you ask questions about injuries or other concerns, the patient defers ro them or the partner answers without giving your patieur the opportunity to do so. !R/ARNINt`a SI€sN5 FOR 3UDGEs AND COURT #~ERSONNEL ~ In the courtroom, the `victim' seetns extremely anxious, embarrassed, and hesitant to tall: about what happened to them. w ~X/hen questioned, the accused male suggests that men are superior to women. ro During testimony, there is evidence that one of the teens in the relationship plays an exces- sively protective role. ~ In the counrnom, the "alleged" victim verbally taunts the accused. r. Dw~ing testhnony, the accused uses derogatory comments in reference to race, gender or sex- ual oriemarion. ¦ The alleged victim appears extremely fearful of the accused. ¦ The accused is extremely non-chalant or disrespectful of court authority and combative towards the judge, the attorneys, other court personnel and adults. WARNINCs 5tON5 FOR ATTORNEYS r. A review of the teen's home situation shows problems, such as an alcoholic parent, family violence, or other abusive behaviors. ¦ Interaction between the victim and perpetrator is very strained, volatile, or one seems Fearful of the other. ~ The teen weazs clothing that seems to be extremely covering for the season. A teen who has covered themselves with clothing may be hiding bruises or other injuries! 5J 2006 American Ba, Assodatlon 8 ~ roh>.i t ~ ~"uK i'. '<:C~.~t ur=istrtv= ¦ Non-verbal body language, such as shyness, averting eyes, non-wmmunicative demeanor, anxiety or other signs of fear may indicate victimization. • Be aware that in some cultures, such as in Native American culture, prolonged rye-contact may be a form of disrespect. 7berefore be atoare of culntral differences which, if wrongly interpreted, could exacerbate or create unwarranted problems. ¦ The breath of the accused smells like alcohol, their eyes arc glasry, or they have ahistory- of substance abuse. a Your client is getting constant phone calls, text messages or voicemails and seems upset by chem. ¦ Your client seems afraid to be iu the same vicinity as the accused and generally fears being alone. ¦ The teen is extremely fearful at your suggestion that they'll have to be in a courtroom with the accused. Wr? WARMIRIG SIGNS FC1R LAYb/ EtdFC/RCEMEPl6 CIFFICERS ¦ As an SKO on campus, you notice: • A student appears to .ucddenly have lost a lot of weight since they began banging out with ane particular person. • Constant verbal arguments within ttudent ilating'relatiaruhips. • Signs ofphysieal abuse: • Constant or severe bruises or other injuries. • Clothing that seems uucfiararteristic ar out ofseason (clothing may be used to cover up injuries). ¦ When you are called ro a scene, a records-check reveals that one or both teens were in a past yet similar incident involving abusive behavior or battery: ¦ One of the teens at the scene appears disheveled, has mrn clothing, bruises or scrapes, or seems sad or afraid. ¦ At a scene, when you ask the two teenagers if they're arc OK, or what happened ro them, their reply doesn't seem valid, or they want ro dismiss it as `nothing serious.' ¦ When questioning the teens, one looks to the ocher to give answers, or one answers your questions without giving the other teen the opportunity to reply. Q 2006 American Bor Assoc'mion 9 - i ~,dNJ ~t v 4~~.~tnS ti F~'.+ rkR'li i; v r.tllAnv!' ¦ One of the teens appears intensely fearful, guarded, or anxious at your questions and won't make eye-contact with you. • Be aware that in some cultures, such as in Natrve Amerieart culture, prolonged eye-contact may be a form of disrepeet. Therefore, be aware of cultural differences wliicb, if wrongly interpreter!, could exacerbate or create unwarranted problems. ¦ The teen is quick to deny suggestions of abuse, or becomes intensely protective of the other teen when you discuss the possibility of abuse with them. ® Warning signs of interpersonal violence are present, along with indicators of drug or alcohol use. 1NARNENG 51GNS F®E2 DC}PV{ESTEC b/1®LENCE C)RGANIZATEGiNS ¦ A teen's sitting in the back of the room, not participating in discussions, and appearing angry wnceming xhe topic. ¦ 7"he student exhibits extremely low self esteem ¦ Youve been alerted about the behavior of a teenage boy whose father is known to be rude and disrespectful of women. ¦ You notice a teen has physical signs of possible abuse, such as bruising and cuts. ¦ A student wears unseasonable or uncharacteristic clothing, which may be hiding injuries. ¦ A studeut suddenly requests changes in their school schedule. ¦ Be aware that some teens will try hard to demonstrate no signs of abuse when they are being victimizxd. • They may put a lot of effort into looking like the petfert student,' or someone who goes about their daily rrsportsibilitxes like a robot, or someone who talks about their relationship as if it's unasually j~erfecs' ¦ Though they have a reputation for being aggressive and sometimes violent, they're initially very nice with the person they're pursuing. ¦ A capable student doesn't put forth the effort to do well. They seem like they don't atre. O 1006 American Bar Assoc'ation 10 :'lr)a4i 't 4 n~?u~!,' ,K_; m I,i ~.,o!tt Uncf~rst~ncJing Power ~t Control Tactics Conuide~ the lollowin9 dafinitiou of abuse: "Abose is any attempt to pain power or control over anotl?sr person usin, pbrsical, emotions/ or aexwl lattice."The 'Wheel' you see on this page shows that Power and Control are at the center of an abusive relationship. In other words, abuse Is when there is a pattern of one person trying to gain power and control aver the other. One of the mast obvious or blatant ways to control another person is by using violence -such as hitting a person, holding them down ar sexually assaulting someone. However there are other ways of controlling a person that do not include physical violence and are not so easy to spot. Instead of using physical or sexual violence, many abusers may use verbal, emotional, psychological or financial tactics to control the other person. Some examples of these forms of abuse are shown in between the 'spokes' of the wheel. They are mare subtle, [not so obviousl so often people do not recognize them as abuse. But they are abuse, and they often lead to physical violence. • • 8snwl Emotional/Wrhal Coareioe ? Abone I • Manipulating partner into • Constant criticism, sex, including using guilt trips name-calling, put-dawns' or threats • Unwanted touching • Playing mind games pressuring partner for sex • Embarrassing or I playful' use of force during sex humiliating parmer • Guilt-trips Treating partner like a sex object • , ntimidatio ` • The'silent' treatment I Sexual harassment • Drugging ~ ~naneini/ • Spreading rumors or t ~ a TMroab telling secrets • Insulting someone/having sex while ~ Eeooomie • Using looks/actions/ ~ partner's race ar I they are too dn~nk or ~ AYna gestures voice to scare ~ heritage high to make a clear , .preventing partner decision about partner •Throwing/smashing ~ • Damaging whetherthey ~ from getting/keeping a job things, showing weapons, Partner's I want ~ Keeping partner on an personal ~ allowance • Making partner destroying property, punching wells or have sex proPertY ~ ~ give you his/her money • Expecting other objects • 'Play fighting' that is meant partner to always pay far dates or to show strength and power over partner POWER buy ycu things • Using someone for • Threatening to hurt partner or someone s/he their money • Expecting sexual acts in return cares about • Threatening to commit suicide for spending money an partner fi _ loolotion SeMi~m 8 EMtramo Jenloro~ CONTROL • Discrimination based on gender • Using the ~ • Controlling who partner is friends with, belief that males are superior to females, ar where sihe goes, what s/he does • Not ~ ~ that males have certain privileges that letting partner work or be involved in ~Oa n , ~ females should not have, to justify his/her ~ E ' 0stn1 controlling partner • Being the one to own activities • Keeping constant ~ Mtmmizm/ Childroe ~ define male/female roles tabs on pawner, including ~ ood 8lamitn ' • Pressuring ~ Expecting Lhe male to make rough pager ar cell phone ~ 'Denying the partner to get `all the big decisions • "Rules' abuse or acting like ~ pregnant • Using For the relationship that • Accusing partner of ~ are not the same cheating without it's not that serious I children as a way of ~ for both good reason ~ • Not taking partners creating dependency • ~ artners • Using ~ concerns about the abuse I Threatening to take away `P seriously • Saying the partner children or not allow contact 'brought on' the abuse by with the children • Hurting or something s/he did or didn't ' threatening to hurt the children • for teens (prom do, or saying s/he deserves ~ Telling or threatening to tell the The Pawe the abuse • Not Lakin children negative things about g artner • Threatenin to fi Control Wheel responsibility far one's ' P g ? developed by the own behavior report partner to child pomestic Abuse welfare Intervention Project, Duluth, Minnesota. • ~ (continued on next Pagel UncJ~rstanding Equnlit~ The opposite of an abusive rehttionabip (one based oa power aed central) is a healthy relationship, which is haaed oe fgpalih. When both people ie a re/atioaahip believe they are equal, and xeitber tries to gale power or control over the other, the result is a noe-violent sad healthy re/atiaeahip. Ths `fqualiry Wheel' below ahowa equality as the teeter o/ the healthy relationship. leaide the `spoNea' o/ the wheel are examples of behaviors that go oe ie a re/atioeahip hosed oe equality. • • Sexnel Nartlrsatetring Safety behavior ~ Both partners are Talking and acting so both ~ able to say "no" to any partners feel comfortable 'sexual behavior they are not expressing their opinions comfortable with, honor ~ Trost ~ and making their own ~ and respect each other's / . and ~ decisions. Both I sexual decisions, / Ftloaacial Support ~ always feel safe communicate about / Economic Encouraging ~ around the ~ sex, and practice /Bo~de~pettne Snce ~ P ~ partner's goals, pointing ~ other. ' "safe sex" if /control their own money out talents and strengths, ~ sexually /and negotiate about shared ~ liahlinn Rhein fr~linnn n.""1 ~ ~ orfi~ie ~ ~xn~rn.... 1xM1. •4- ,,,yu u„~ ~ ~ ' P uuaa. •.I loll a111A al a yIV011 opinions even when different from ~ / they are given freely and without expectation for anything in return. own. Respecting privacy. Listening There are no demands for money or non-judgementally, material items. ~ EAUALITY Coanectioas with Qthers Negotiation and Fairness Both partners maintain friendships and @oth partners have equal family relationships with others,/ ~ decision-making power enjoy activities outside of the/ ~ relationship and make their Honesty ~ and are willing to ~ ~ compromise. Rules and own decisions about where/ and ~ Aesponsibta ~ agreements are made they go, what they do Accountability parenting / ~ ~ together and and who they Accepting Communicating ban out / responsibili for ~ apply equally g / tY ~ and making ~ to both. with/ one's own actions. responsible decisions Acknowledging mistakes ~ about pregnancy. ~ ~ and admitting when wrong.) If parenting, sharing Communicating openly f responsibilities and being and truthfully. Trusting positive, non-violent ? partner and being role models far , " Adapted I for teens from trustworthy. children. ~ Thg Eauali wheel ~ developed by the i Domestic Abuse lntervential Project, j Duluth, Minnesota. (continued on next Pagel w¦.• 1 1 tI Prevention Recommendations t~ ` ¦ Teens ` ~.w ¦ Parents ®School Personnel . Mental Health Professionals and School Counselors ¦ Physicians and Health Care Professionals ¦ Judges and Court Personnel ¦ Victim Attorneys and Prosecutors ¦ Law Enforcement Officers ¦ Domestic Violence Organizations rrr CW 2006 Amencon Bar Assodmlon 1 ,'llGw~i 'i t'v h~ C'~G r tit r.rv i i; ua+Y a'~w T~ ~~:ir~ it ~~~~~i VICTIMS, ABUSERS, Slt3LIN~S, FRIENaS ANC} C3YSTANDER5 ¦ Respect yourself and respect others. Do it! ® Don't 6e silent about teen dating violence. ¦ if you suspect someone is a victim, encourage them to find help. • Support them m tell someone they nzut. • If you suspect someone is an abuser mll them to rell someone they trust and get help! Don't wait. ® Without being judgmental, listen, so you can find out what the problem is. • Don't cut than o~ ¦ Seek advice/trainingftom an organization thac addresses teen dating violence to learn how you can help a victim, ensure the victims safety, and stay safe yourselfl a Help them realize there is a problem. • 'T'ell the victim they °deserve respect" ¦ Give the victim sincere compliments to help restore their self-confidence. ¦ Tell the victim, "It's not your fault." e Tdl the victim that there is never a reason to stay if they feel afraid, unhapp}' or abused. • Encourage the victim to speak up and speak out for themselves. ¦ Make yourself available to the victim if they need you. ¦ Keep in contact with the person - it will let them know you're supporting them and that they re not alone. • Re prepared to find appropriate help for the victim if you need to. • Contact acct adult whone you trust and you feel can help. s } lelp the victim make safety plans. • lJelp them decide on a safe, public place to go. • Make sure they keep a n~usted friend's phone number close by • Help them a~eate a password that, when used is a signal that they nerd help. wrw~' ©4006 American Bor Assoc'o6on 2 i.*'~'.orvai l 4 h..eu:0 t~,t sP~ i ~ ti nr+u,tm=. ¦ Encourage the victim to keep a set of clothes at a friend's house. ¦ Always have a cell phone with you, in case they need you. ® If you're a victim, keep a cell phone handy in the event you need help. ¦ Raise awareness - h4ake it known that teen dating violence can happen to anyone, and that it can occur in different forms. ¦ Ask for or create school or conununity support groups with the guidance of an adulc who is knowledgeable on the issue -leaders should be teens/students. The groups themes should be: • Stay Strnngr • Choose Respect! • Frpect Respeetl ¦ Have support groups available so the abuser has someone ro calk to as well. • Guyr to guys groups • Girls to grrlr groups ~ ® Tell friends aad Family about die warning signs. ¦ Support the "it takes a village" idea: • Educate your rormnunrty about the warning signs. • Involve your ronzmunity in awareness and prevention. • `Talk it up'to evezyorze. • Don't stop talking about itf 82006 Amencon Bar Asm~afon 9 ~ u(iNN 'it N U rES r ~,n u~ c F>[v i i ^u m'i F:'n4 ire il~ rr~~~~ ~~i~ fir ,~rr~~ DUAL PARENTS, 51NGLE PARENTS, FOSTER PARENTS, LEGAL GUARDIAN5 ~ Spend quality time with your teen -You'll be amazed what you learn! Talk co your teens daily-ask about their day. Listen, Listen, listen! ® Be willing ro hear the good and bad about your teen. a It's okay if young people get mad when you ask questions - Dotit stop askingt • But don i badger your teen or their friends frir information or answers - there's a fine line! • And dantpress on an issue everyday! s Give your child space to grow and discover who they are, but dont close your eyes and ears completely. ~ Give your teen positive feedback, make them feel good about themselves, and build up your teen's confidence. ® Don't pre-judge your teen's friends. • Be open-rnindedr a Be comfortable talking about `uncomfortable' subjects. If you're not, become comfortable by getting the necessary information and becoming educated. • Find a way to firing up rnatters that your teen is hesitant to discuss. a Consider the idea chat what you're saying to your teen may not fit the current situation and/or the existing teen culture. • Your perception of things may Hr, wrong, so be willing to listen if your teen wants to tell you /mw things really are. ® Start talking to your kids about heald~y relationships when you first notice their interest in serious dating. • Be aware of what's going on, early on irr your teen's relationships. • Educate them about their rights and responsibilities as a teen who is begim:ing to date. ~ Communicate to your male and Female children that both sexes are equal. ~ Dads, don't be "chauvinistic' -Show your sons how to treat women by how you Treat your wife, your mother, your daughter, and other women. • Treat your daughter in t/ie some euay you would like them to be treated by others. *ww' G~2006 American Par Associaflon 4 '>rv 4t I N L^ri~r, ?4e. ul:*J RIlY~>:~ti' ¦ Be a role model for your teen on issues such as sobriexy, your personal relationship with your spouse or others. • Sbnw by example, evesz with the lime things, such as raying please"and "thank you. ¦ `Iell your teen stories about your own. Iife and your similar experiences. r Talk with your kids about life's possible negative experiences, and how to avoid them. ¦ Don't use your poor relationship with your own parents as an exarse for being a bad parenx to vour child. Get in there! ¦ Establish a trusting relationship with your child.'I'hat way, if you ever need to talk about things like dating violence they will talk with you and trust you to do the right xhing for them. • Beware of the trtest issue: Teens are afraid to talk co their parents about their relrttionsbips, especially if they're abusive re%tionsliips. • If they show you they trust you with their secret by opening up to yozr, be careful how you react to and neat the information they've given you. • Don't blow things out ofproporziora just because you clozt't know about the issue. ¦ Just because you know the oxher family, don't assume everything is okay between your teen and their boyfriendlgirlfriend. ¦ Don't cell a reen "no," or not to do something "just because," with no explanation. ¦ Communicaxe with your teen abm¢ the possible connecxion between drinking, drug abuse and violent relationship behavior. ¦ '[alk to your teen about the web sites they visit. ¦ Be a'detective' without violating your kid's privacy. • Dorz't just snoop: You should have probable cause'to penetrate tbeirprivary. • Don't jump to conclusions. ¦ Be careful not to create a `friendship' wixh your teen: Teens usually wanx (and need) you to be their parent-not their friend. • Ifyora ure extremely close with your teen, know when to be a parent versus being your cbilrl's friend. ¦ If your reen seems angry or depressed, figure out why. ¦ Don't be closed-minded about information you find because you don't feel chat it is directly related to your teen's situation -you might miss something important or something that is iw• related to their relationship that you aren't aware of. ©4006 Amencon Bar Asroclofion 5 - tonla n_H I. i,u, 'r F .'c p4t~nt is v rtnt=lt A~ ~ Get educated on the extreme warning signs of teen dating violence (such as self-mutilation, thoughts of suicide, etc) • These are extreme situations and you should seek professional help immediately. ® 'iry to work it out with your child first before asking someone else ro help. • Outside help may not work right away. ® Ifyou suspect your teen needs counseling, you may need to find a counselor outside of your area, because of your child's privacylcontidentiality concerns. • Teens may be resistant ro counseling so work toith someone appropriate to locate a counselor your teen will work with. • fyou decide counseling is needed, know that many teensprefergroup eourueling to irufivid- ual counseling. • Yon may need to find counceling for a Arative American teen o ff the reservation to relieve any pressure caused by the teems con frdentiality concerns, given the closed natrsre of the reservation community • lt might help to contact the Social Services Department of the closest Area Office of The Bureau of Italian Affairs or the closest Indian Health Service Hospital zo seek assistance finding a counselor located off the reservation. • As a cnmplernent to professional assistance, you may want to consider traditional help within the trifle. For example, you may want to seek the assistance ofa traditional healer. ~ Be aware of oilier possible resources. • ReGitiver (especially grandparents) ran be an effective resource, dependir:g on your relatima- ship with them, and their relationship with t1~e teen. • Religious resources alone may or may not be effective when you need help. Ifyou are pres- sured to keep quiet, insist on getting the appropriate help! ~ Talk to your kid's teachers because they may confide in a teacher they trust. • Attend parent-teacher conferences and ark questions about any noticeable changes in your teen's behavior. • 'I alk to other parents in the community about what kids are doing: you may get informa- tion about your teen and/or their boyfriend or girlfriend. ~ Help your community get the necessary resources to create Teen Centers, so kids have some- thing constructive ro do. • Explore possible resources through the school rystenz and the Internet. 02006 Amer¢on Bar Assocbllon 6 --IiDI¢41 V'^t ~.a p}': II'.'= FSC~ I I..Y ~I I~ItA''Y': T~r~ ~ir~ ~lic~~r~ r~r~~i~r~ ~~r~r~~~i~r~ ~r ~h~~l ~r~c~r~n~l "SCHOOL PERSC")NNEL" INCLUDES'Allteachers,waches,principals,administra- tors, secretaries, school nurses, school counselors, school psychologisxs, computer lab staff, teacher aides, teacher substitutes, paraprofessionals, media center staff, school resource officers, maintenance engineers, cafeteria workers, secuciry personnel, parking lot attendants, probation officers, bus drivers, patent/guardian volunteers, and community resource personnel who come on campus. ¦ Work with your students to clearly define teen dating violence and then educate the snuienx body about it. • Educate your students as often as possible, but at least annrsally in an event that really draws attention to the issue. Please! ¦ Schools should employ teachers whose actions show their priority is the kids -not just on paper, or during official meetings, but aU the time! ¦ A `cool teacher' will recognize when a stttdenx is acting out for attention, and then give them the appropriate attention they need. Some kids need a little extra help and aself-esteem boost.' ¦ If you are interested in being the `cool teacher' that students come to for help and advice concerning their relationships, you should have the following qualities and abilities: • Passion about what you are doin~~ • Awareness and training concerning cultural di~erenees, so you don't aurongly interpret issues, or exacerbate or create unwarranted problems,; • The desrre to create ways that enable students to rec'ognrze their connections with others; • The ability to be a good listener (a cool reacher' won't give the impression that they are too bury or not interested in the students); • The determination Ca find out what students need from their teachers acrd then show tliern you care about them by acting acrordhtgly,~ • T{ie ability to initiate a casual conversation with stulents, while showing that you aregen- uinely interested in them; • The willingness to incite student opinions and feedback and then respond to them; • The desire to encourage students to share their good and bad exyerienes; • A quality that enables you to sFiou~ rulntzration for the ideas ar:d actzvities yortr students are committed to; ` The determirtatzon to give students individual aiul special amention; Sensitzvity to recognize when a student is upset and ask them what the problem is; • The ability to be re j~ectful of students feelingv (you dotit put down kids' feelengs by sayeng <~2006 Ameucon Bor Assoclmbn 7 ~ t~Gh<,i ~k'v P~ ¢ar, yi, r~~t rkevi rn ..N ~unnrv' things like, `You're too young to really love someone.'); • A flexible nature, but consistent about the school's discipline policies; • The ability to enforce classroom policies that require students treat each other respectfully; • A rzony'rulgmerttal character, • The ability to rnaintain your udult demeanor instead of becoming the students' equal ~ Make your classroom a comfortable place fur your students ro come and talk to you about sensitive issues like teen dating violence. (A desk full of papers doesn't look like you have the time to talk.) ¦ Create opportunities for students to speak out about things. [f they have a serious problem, this may be the opportunity they seine to ask for help. • Be seruitzve about students roho are reluctant aborts working with other students (you may want to investigate why they feel that way). • Find rzon-embarrassing ways to bring shy or reluctant students into the group. By doing that„ yon might be helping them to find a friend or solve a problern.z • Provide a welcoming opportunity for kicG' to talk one-on-one with teachers. Be sure all the students know ubout itr • Create a teacher plavzned period when teens can talk in confzdezxe, in a relaxed place • Explore ways to create eonfzderttial methods fw' studenn to get help,, etch as granting special passes so students carz more easily have shuts with teachers or participate in peer group dis~us- sions. ¦ Increase awareness of teen dating violence as a real problem that can occur anywhere and to any type of teen. • Ensure awareness information uddresses cultural differences and needs. n Choose a creative theme m help teach about teen daring violence prevention at the school. ¦ Be sensitive to other school persmutel an<l aware that they coo may need help/instruction/resources because they might have experienced dating violence in their own lives. ¦ Ensure school personnel are educated and trained on the following issues: • There are cultural differences in the appearance of teen dating violence, as weU as different approaches to prevcnztion. School persormel should be trained well ronrernirzg cultural issues sa they can handle situations effectively for every teen in the school When dealing with teens, including Native American teens ire rural areas, school personnel must also be awme and sensitive to cultural differences in terms of ratio-economic conditioru, which are often heightened in rural America acrd can play a significant role ire a teens well-being on a multitude of levels - including issues associated with teen drtting violence. CG 2006 American Bar ASwcoOOn S 1.^w~t' v4"•au~,' '~-~_!en-.~~~;~ ~.164:'~v~ • When dealing with Native American teens, understand chat differences revolve around d~ibaliszn. To `outsiders'this can be problematic because you will often be dealing with a very dosed con:rreunity. • There are possible legal ramifzcatians if a teen daarrg violence incident oaurc on school grounds. • School personnel are mandated reporters in certain matters, so teachers must learn about their state laws arul the issrzes involved ifa student tells them persona[ in formation. • School personnel should consider the ability to change maze laws u~ improve the situation for teens. • School personnel should find ways to honor their students rrrzst in thorn. School personnel should Ge encouraged to support meaningful d~anges so coons will be more likely zo come to them for {ielp (surh as privary issues). • High-qunliry, developmentally appropriate instructional materials (such as videos of people's rutual stories) to teach teens about teerz dating violence and its dangers are effective teaching tools. • The irulicators of teen dating vinlerue-including both the obvious and less obvious signs of an abusive relationship. • Teen clrtting violence bas a negative rnzpact on a teen's ability to learn. Hostile enviromnents discozzrage kids from seeking help and may even harm their ability to learn. • Seeual harassment demeans a person and is extremely disrespectful • Students need co be taken seriously, supported, and helped when they need it. • Appropriately addressing students fear of losing friends if they come forward to report a vic- timization thry suspect or kuazv about. • The importance of erzcauraging classroom discussionu ou proper relationship behaviors. ¦ 'limning materials need to be about real life-incidents, (not rnod< `imaginary' trials or ocher portrayals by obvious actors, of actors who are obviously not teens). ¦ School personnel must be educated to recognize their responsibility to youth so they take action when they see something, or when something is reported to them. ¦ School officials must make and appropriately enforce specific school polity about what is NOT acceptable (e.g. pinching, patting and smacking buxts or `kneeing' guys in the groin). ¦ Demand that students treat each other with respect at all times. ¦ Prevent language in school that dehumanizes and sexually objectifies people. '~Mr' ~Z~od .4metican Bo~fssoa aOOn 9 ~ -"~-1 'k'N D^.: V:. Y'"<t Fk Cbl 1 ."J i]M„. C£ ¦ Address behaviors that desensitize kids and can set the stage for serious forms of abusive behaviors, such as sexual harassment. ¦ Talk to stttdenrs about personal responsibility. • ]ixplain w your studenrs that they rrray be sendivzg mixed messages when the way they dren doesn't show thcq%re choosing and expecting respeer~ ¦ I-faee school dress codes and enforce them. ¦ Stress the responsibility of bystanders when a teen dating violence incident occurs. ¦ Help develop teen dating vio]ence awareness activities within school adolescent health clubs and orher teen-focused clubs and organizations. ¦ If appropriare for the school, consider using certain forms of surveillance. It may help a frightened student feel safe and secure. w~~ 72006 American Bar Ass«atmn 10 no~~i t v {..rirf ~,i irv.e r-: ~ uiene:~~ef T~r~ C~~ir~ i~lr ~~r~~i~r~ R~~~r~r~r~d~i~r~ ~~r ~nfial ~~I~ r~f~ssi~n~ls ~r~d ~h~~l ~ur~~el~r~ ¦ Work to develop young people's trust. • Listen, listen, listen, and always lie tfiere for us! • Dorit deny or diminisbi our feelings. ¦ When counseling, use the tecn's first name. ® 'Talk with teens about their problems -dolt calk to them. • Clarify "confidentiality," including the fact that the mental hcahh professional may be required to repon some things to the authorities, regardless of the teen's wishes. • /ts cwt OK to talk to others about specific issues that certain students have, unless t$e issuer discussed ure life-t<ireatening, possibly harmfiel to others, or unless the teen hat given you per- yy~,,. mission w do so. • "I told a counselor something and itgot around the rchool becav<se a counselor told a teacher. ° Ifa teen says tha>, it's unacceptable! It destrnyr trust artd is irz conflict with the idea of i'onfidentiality' ¦ School counselors or another member of school personnel should he available and willing ro listen to students. • Be there for the teens at all times: Not just at your convenienre,• • Be non judgmental, • Give good advice to the best ofyour knowledge and n~aining,~ • If they need it, help the rtudent to create a safety plan; • Make appropriate referrals to outside experts, when necessary. ¦ Get into our business! Sometimes we're saying, "I don't have the willpower to tell anyone else, and that's why I'm coming to you for help." ¦ Understand that some things need adult intervention, but also that adult intervention can be more harmful than helpful if it not fully infncmed. • You .chortld be trained concerning how to counsel teens from various Cultural backgrounds. Or, know about the romnrrsrtity resources available to teens from different cultures. It would be helpful if counselors would have a list of other counselors in the area who are from different culottes so when a teen neede help, you can refer them to someone who is hesx suited to deal with their needs. o 2006 American Bar Asociarion 11 I~;ti 4t 'tt N V.~Yrsr) c t4'i v'sP~'[ril;v ur~hAr'iv{' • /f a 1Native American teen who lives on a reservation needs 6ielp, you mrty want to find counseling for them o~f the reservation to relieve any pressure caused by the teens confidentiality concerts, given the closed nature of the reserratiorz rornrnunity. It might help to contact the Social Services Department of the rlosestArea Offtce of the Bureau ofTitdian Affairs or the closest Indian Health Service Hospital to seek assistance. ¦ Stay interested arul involved in teens' lives. Keep up on what's going on! • Establish appropriate relationships with ALL the students. • Continue to ask questions, and work to develop and nuiintain the stzaderus'rrust. • Dora be surprised that teen dreting violence happens in your community. • Someone wlio is involved and really cares won't say, "/had na idea teens deal with this." * Know whaz kids lisren to, then listen to, know and understand the lyrics. • Talk with teens about lyres that demorutr~ate disrespectful hurtful or illegal behavior. ¦ IGtow the slang to understand what's going on so, if you need to, you can help. • Be trained to recognize the warning signs. ~ Understand the types of dating violence warning signs that many teen peers ignore. Overlooking the behaviors makes it difficult for teens to recognize or understand what is happening when a violent attion actually does take place. • 1lolding down, pwhin~ pulling slrtpping; pulling hair, or conrrolling what the of<ier person does or says are serious irrdirators ofan abusive relationship. ¦ Recognize the problem: • This kirul of abuse really happens... and it happens to all types of teenst • Girls and guys are being abused. • Teetu hit other teen., and it's not right. • People who witness the violence don't stop it because they experience it too or they davit know hvw to help. s Don't be swayed when some students insist, "It doesn't happen in our school," or °It doesn't happen to anyone Iknow." • .Sometimes certain groups ofstudents might think they%re better than others and don't want to admit it can happen to there or Smeone they krzo:u... or arlrnit that it actually did happen. ~ Educate students on warning signs and human dignity issues. • Educate bozb guys and girlsz • Help teeru realize haw serious teen dating violence is (Teens have died in violent relation- ships!), and how its not right in so many ways. ©2006 American Bar Assacbtion 12 iG-rv4l-F'v t-.Irrv,' r+!(. F. ~kLi tl iunstua • Educate males and females about what `being a respectable male' really means (or should mean), and that it does not include violence or control over others. • Help teens set down rules for `good relationships: ® Stress to all teens that it's never OK to be hit. ® Help the teen understand the problem and possible solutions. • Don't tell teens what they feel or what they "have to da. " ¦ Ask teens questions such as, "How long has this been going on''' and "Are you OK in your relationship?" ¦ Intervene appropriately if the student feels they are in danger, if you sense they are in dan- ger...and especially if you lrnow they are in clanger. • Yorar policy should be: 1f a strident feels they are in danger, irnmediately help the student develop a safety plan. • Figure out the safest intervention methods arul involve appropriate ofliets to ensure interven- tion is safe and effective. • Wmk with teens to create prevention and intervention strategies. • Most of the time teens go to their fiiena's for he p aiul advice, but sbess to teems that their ability to help is less effective than the type of help an adult can provide. • Ensure the teens in your school receive appropriate and sourul advice about bow to help effec- tivel~s yet be cafe themselves. • When counseling teens, don't say: young men, young women, adolescent, teenager, youth, kids now davs. ¦ When counseling teens, do say: teen, student, young people, young adults...and our first names. • Tell us what out options are. • Wfiat we can da to get otet of it? • What should we say when we're trying to end it? • What resources might we need? • Counselors should give the teen an information card with usefid phone numbers, in case they need to call for help or want someone to talk too. • It would help if there were more hotline numbers! .,w The ivzfarmation yvu give them should be culturally appropriate so ifs effective. 'I his is espe- cially helpful for students whose primary langrutge isnk English. 'ruv © 2006 Amemm~ Rar Ass«imlon 13 a I ~n,41 - Y V ~r C:<, ~ PsC:9 i l , ti i; f isA7°/` ~ leach teens to speak up! • Encourage the experienced teeng w1~o are comfbrrable talking about their situations, to go public with their stories about teem dating vioknzce. Their stories can help other victims and abusers. • F,ncourage teens ro talk to other zeeru wliert thrj~ see ahnse taking place. ~ Get on the national agenda for a nationwide conference on high school reform, ro address: • Studerza'social/encotional health; • Appropriate and effective school discipline policies; • Quality school staff training that appropriately equips t6iem to teach students about life skills and proper relritionship building • The creation ofschool systems that foster positive changes in teen culture. ¦ Educate the community about teen dating violence, and how to be responsible co the needs of the kids -and to the schools' needs as well. • Enrure your method ofgiving advire is culturally appropriate. For instance, on Indian reser- vatians, the governing body of the Tribe (often called the 7~rihal Council) should be educaud about teen dating violence and given prevention recoanmecsdations. ©2006 Amarimn Bar Ass«iation 14 r,:., -~Hni v :r:er.+; [=v a_e r. ~~i i ^a iiuet~~,x ~r~~r~c°:~~i~r~ f~ Physicians ~r~d ~~I~h C~r~ Prc~c~~icnals ¦ Do what is appropriam to make your patient feel comfortable to talk with you. • if the teen patient reyuests it, have their parent(s) leave the exam room. ¦ Ask all your teen patients open-ended questions. • How's school?" • 'Are you datz'ng (going out with) anyone?" ¦ Don'r immediately ask pointed questions up front. • E.g. Did someone hurt you?" • Lead inro the general issue of teen dating violence. Then give your teen patient helpful information, such as something explaining the vuarning .rigtu. ¦ Doaors should explain "confidentiality" up front to their teenage patients, including the fact that they may be required to report certain things to the author hies, regardless of the teen's wishes. ¦ Doctors should understand that teens are concerned about confidentiality concerning sexual activity and substance abuse. ¦ Understand that teens are reluctant to tell a doctor about illegal beltavior or any information that could get back to their parents/family Some if the issues are: • Dr. as a family fiderad' is a problem that may keep teens from being honest with you. • Teens want their parents to xhink they're OKso its very bard for a teen to cell their parents if they are in an abusive relatiotuhip • One suggested approach is: "What you've said makes me concerned. I u.~ant to get help for you, and to do that I think we need to talk to your parents arul find treatment, "etc. ¦ Some teens don't care if the doctor talks [o their parents as long as the teen doesn't have to tell their parents about the problem but you should know that before you discuss issues with parents. Q 2006 American Bar Assoclotion IS ~.'UVni 't'uo -R<:,' (ti:F r&E~~e i.i .~N Ur.i±4ttV' ~ [f needed, the doctor should refer the teen patient to a qualified counselor/therapist. ~ The doctor's office should be a source of information tot teens. • The doctor should give the patient a list ofteen-appropriate hotlines and supportgrnups ® It's embarrassing for teens if they have to pick up pamphlets with tides about certain teen issues, like "Teen Dating Violence," or "Herpes," etc Instead, have information in your office for teens with a general title like "Today's Teen," with small sub-topics relating m teen dating violence and other important teen issues. • Ir formation should include topics eaneenring abstinenre, S7D.c, substanre abuse, and other issues teerrs deal with today • The infarrnatforr in your of~rce should indrrde helpful phone numbers and other resources so teens can get help with relatioruhip problems. TLe inforntatian you provide should be helpful u~ all teens; so please make sure ft's culturally appropriate for your area! ~ Doctors should be sure chat appropriate medical information for teens is posted in medical building elevators, in the doctor's front oftce, on exam room walls, in hospitals, on bath- room door in public restrooms, and in the school nurse's office. ~ Develop a gender-neutral, very cool, media campaign targeting youth, concerning teen dat- ingviolence. e Doctors should perform follow-up with child abuse victims, since many older victims of violence nfren suffered child abuse too. X4006 American Bar Asm~afon 16 r;nai t'v n,v'i n~.s r+.~i. Fke~ i i.~ti nt'1:A~wr R~~r~n~~nd~ir~ fir J~d~s end c~~rt ~rs~r~r~~l ® All teen dating violence cases should be heaz'd in an official juvenile or family court. s In cases involving youth, the victim should be treated as most important-- not as a silent participant, or observer in their own circumstances. ¦ Judges should not assume chat only females are victims and only males are perpetrators. • Judges should require the submission of accurate and thorough reports by everyone involved in a teen dating violence case. • burst the reports include language about the abusive act and other important tbingr, like body language. • During sentencing judges sborcld muke sure they lave all ittforrnation involved in each case. ¦ Judges should be aware of cultural differences which, if wrongly intcrprered, could exacer- bate or create additional legal problems. "ae..' ¦ Judges should require the police officer involved in the case to appear in court as a witness. • Judges should speak in terms that teens can understand! • Some teens better urrderstarul their avert language, and same only speak their native lan- guage, for instance Native teens in Alaska. So, its important for judges and others in the court system to be able to communicate when it appears the teen is having di~aculty uruler- standing what you are saying. ¦ Judges should offer youth the opportunity to speak, and listen to what they have ro say. ¦ Judges should consider a victim's request to be presenc during the entire court proceedings. • Judges should consider the victim's request to testify by dosed circuit television. ¦ Judges should consider the victim's request co decide if and when the victim's parents azc present in the courtroom. • Judges shoulc{ require the. perpetrator's parents or legal guardian m be present during all courtroom proceedings, ¦ Judges should allow a victim's request to have pertinent, personal information discussed in a closed courtroom. ~40a6 America~Bar Azsoaation 17 a t',NFJ N A':~n9 [+:'1 Pkr:R I ~^1 w;vnrixr r..F ¦ Judges should give victims nc~ opporxuniry to testify on xhe trustworthiness of the witnesses for the other side. ® Judges shouldn't disregard body language when they're hearing a case. ® Judges should be trained on the realixy and seriousness of psychological abuse when they consider protective order cases. ¦ All protective orders should appropriaxely address "no contact" or "restricted conracx," for the safexy of xhe victirn. • Judges should explain the `ita contact" language in the protective order to everyone involved. ¦ Judges should explain xhe protective order to the pcrpcnator and make sure they understand it, and then follow ir. • Judges should clearly explain tlae consequences if they dori t follow it. ¦ Court systems should establish "zero tolerance" for violations of the protective order. • Punishment should be mandrttory! • Judges should lock up the perpetrator if they dori t abide by the protective order. ¦ Appropriate coup personnel should hear and know the whole story concerning teen dating violence. ¦ Courts should recognize that "teen dating violence" means all sintations when at leasx one of the people involved is a teenager, no matter the age of the other person. ® Court personnel should keep an open mind about the victim's and perpetrator's sexuality and gender identification. • Recognize that dating violence occurs in both heterosexual and homosexual relatioruhips. ¦ All court personnel should regard the victim as an `abused person.' • These cases shouldn't be Basil -disregarded ar `teens squabbling,' ar a `lover's spat. ' ¦ Court personnel should interview xhe perpetrator and the victim separately -not in the same room. ® Victims should be able to talk with the probation officer, so they understand uUthe infor- maxion involved in the case, as well as understand xhe victim's fears. • Courts should support and work to form specialized 'youth cauru.' ¦ Judges should work with legislamrs to pass legislation creating `youth juries' that would assist the court in making final sentencing decisions. ©i006 American Bar Asso<bibn 18 =~~tlownt r v .Frtr!S Y4~E r&C'~~u i:4 idllAiiv' ~.r ¦ 'T'here should be quality counseling for both the victim and perpetrator, offered through the court sysrem. • (Jsing the available court resources appropriately, require quality counseling for the perpetra- tnr...Come on, give them the opportunity to get it rights With the proper help, they might be OK in the futn~re! • Quality couuseliseg of their choice should be ensured fvr the victim. ¦ Probation officers should have smaller caseloads and be required to do their jobs well and thoroughly. • Probation o~cers should be trained on important issues, including cultural differences. • They sliou~lrl Ge regrtired to monitor their cases c/,osely: Deep up with the kid and whats hap- pening in their life. • Find the kids who don't report in, and investigate their activities. ¦ Probation officers should closely monitor activities like: 3-way calling, instem messaging (IM), react messaging, email involving friends, letters, etc., from the perpetrator to the victim. ¦ Judges should support in-school and aker-school community programs that keep youth busv. There shortld be after school prograns that keep teenagers bury in healthy social ways... ways `'r¦¦" t<iat encourage healthy relationships! ¦ Judges should encourage age-appropriate youth education through `peer groups,' to teach other youth about relationship violence and proper relationship behavior. • This type of education should start early -about age 1Q when kids are first starting to think about re%itioruhips.' ¦ Judges should help educate children in an age appropriate way so they understane{ the court process. • So they won't be so fearfisl of the legal process m~ hesitant to seek legal help if they do etul up needing it as a teenager. • Use videos, coloring books and sornething fun to teach younger chiltlrera about the legal process and courtprocedrsre, so they will consider it helpful' instead of `scary' as they grow older. ¦ Judges should support appropriate, quality training of social workers for kids who may need specific help (e.g. victims and perpetrators). • Ar a prevention measure not just wheia they're so bad off that they're already in the legal system. ¦ Courts should distribute literature on the warning signs of teen dating violence. ¦ Include the topic of "bullying" in judicial and service-provider training. ~M¦/ 72006 America~Bar Assocb[ion 19 ~ * i:aat ;i v , :rr, r i^.~i i'4[w t+i: a uule,tliYf ti iair~ tip ~~~dt~~ r i~tirr~ tt~rr~~~~ end r~s~~~at~r~ ® If a teen comes to you for help, give ahem immediate personal attention -with good erye contact. • Slew dawn ar:d be patient so they'll open up to your ¦ Make sure your teen client knows the court system is accessible xo them -even though they aze minors. ¦ Make sate you are accessible to your teenage dienr. ¦ Explain legal procedures in simple language. • Don't speak `legalese'ta teenagers! • Some teens better urulerstnnd their awn language, acrd some only , j~eak td~eir native lrtn- gurtQe (fits instance, Native teens who live in Alaska). Sa, its irrrportant for everyone in the court system to 6e able to communicate when it appear the teen it having difficulty rander- standing what is being raid. ¦ Attorneys should ensure their client's privacy to xhe maximum extent allowed by the law. ® Prosecutors should clearly explain their role in tech dating violence cases. • F4pGain thrn proserutnrs re/~rerent the State, and are not the teen:r attorney. ¦ All the attorneys should make sure xhey have all information involved in xhe case. • Victim atturreeys and prosecutor need to look at all the records and reports to be fzrlly educated • Make srsre ynu are aware of cultural issues that neight impact the rireumstances and the outcome. • Attorneys should be aware of cultural differences which, f wrongly interpreted, could exacerbate or create additional legal proGlems. ¦ htdude the perpetrator's former probation department reports in the case materials. ¦ Ask questions about the victim's and perpetrator's friends, in order m better understand what happened and why. (Teenage culture is different from the adult social environment. If you dolt understand ir, you won't be effective!) • Look at their eeztire social environment-Get the bigpiczure! ¦ "Palce the victim's experience seriously. • Attorneys and prosecutor need to treat victims with respect and snake there feel validated. ©4006 Amerimn Bar/soelotmn 20 rn41'I Nn.iuG' eti~a ra~~, it;~iiPtint~Y£ ~r ® Protect teen victims in court. • 1'/elp them avoid irzteractions with the perpetrator. ¦ Support your teen chcnt's choice to have a parent present during proceedings, or not. ¦ Support a victim's right to have persona] inftsrmation disarssed in dosed court. ¦ Attorneys should support their teen client's preference if the teen wants to talk in the judges chambers so they can speak more openly, without feeling fear. • Don't make them tel/ their nvey in front of everyone unless they want to. ¦ Raise concerns to the coma in order ro change the perpetrator's situation, so the victim is safe and isn't punished. • Tlie victim shouldn't (wrongfully) have to be the one to change druses or schools! • Victims shouldn't be afraid to attend their classes or be in the hallways and cafeterias, or in uurasit between rchool and home, or dieringofter-school activities. ¦ When you seek protective orders, ask the judge to include protections that will ensure your client will ?ot be retaliated against by the perpetrator, the perpetrator's friends, or others. 'WYt? ¦ Encourage the victim to have no contact with the perpetrator (and vice versa if you're repre- senting the accused) during the investigation and court procedures, including no instant messaging, no cell phone wntact, no email, no text messaging, etc. • Victim attorneys oral prosecutors should do everything they can, to ensure the vletinz is pro- tected in a restraining order: ¦ If appropriate, refer your reettage diem to a qualified `victim's counselor.' ¦ Attorneys should be aware of the victim's and perpetrator's needs. • Both victim attorneys and prosecutors should know about resources and support services for recta' needs -whether they are victims or perpetrators. • Make referrals to other organivatioru or professionals far appropriate and e~ertive assistance. • Cultural differences and needs should be addressed too! ¦ Find appropriate ways to get to know teens and understand the teenage environment. • It will make you a better representative ofyortr teenage clienti interests. • If you're a prosecutor, you should make the effort to fully understand teenagers so your work will be appropriate and effective. ¦ Raise awareness of protective order issues and laws among prosecutors and attorneys through required Continuing Legal Education (CLE) classes. cr,+,,,,, Contact state and local bar acrocuttions' publications represenuttinesobout featuring inform- ative articles on teen dating violence and protective order iuues. 8)2006 Amenm~Bar Assoclaiwn Zt ~ IIC.NAt Ft N t "IFG , 1~"[ i=4Fv 11'Aa I I:GY'itr ~ Artontcys should support appropriate, quality mining of social workers for kids ~~dro may need specific help (e.g. victirns and perpetrators). • !ls a prevention measure, not jrut when they're so bad off that thefre aG~eady irl the legal system. ® Include the topic of °hullying" in attorney training. n 200E Ameumn Bor Asmc'aron 2Z i _h.a t'v o; tr~S tUr„_ rcP~i ~ ,:N ~i; ~.arva T~~r~ tin ir~~ r~~r~tir~ R~~~r~r~r~dti~~ fir Lew r~f~rc~rr~~nt i~rs ¦ Create a teen daring violence unit within the police depaament, with officers who are inter- ested in working with the community-'s teens and are trained in teen dating violence matters. ¦ Police should focus on prevention rather than punishment. ¦ Law enforcement should develop and actively participate in school-based acrivicies and pro- grams that educate younger kids on the law and the possible consequences for breaking the law, before they get involved in a cycle of abusive behaviors. ¦ Police and School Resource Officers (SRO) should conduct more dating violence presen~a- tions in high schools and make quality, teen-appropriate information available to students from all races and cultures. ¦ If you work with teens and might he called to a teen dating violence-refaced scene, you should make sure you've been trained on cultural issues and dil~erences which, if wrongly yam. interpreted, could exacerbate or create unwarranted problems. • Some teens better understand, or only speak their tuttive language, so its important to have the ability to verbally cornrnunicate if the teen it having difficulty uraderrtanding you. ¦ Police officers should rnake sure their police reports fidly describe the abusive act and are thorough. ¦ Police officers should be encouraged to file charges in teen dating violence cases, based on probable cause. ¦ Law enforcement officers should encourage parents ro file protective orders for their child if they suspect someone is abusing them. ¦ L.aw enforcement organizations should support victimized teens' ability to file their own petitions co seek proreaive orders. ¦ Police officers and domestic violence organizations need to work together to educate people who work with teens, concerning the types of adult violence that might get a start in violent teen relationships. ¦ Police should work more closely with domestic violence shelters to address safety needs specific to teen dating violence cases. 572006 American Bar ASSOCiatlon $a~ ~.'°I!:)n A~'f N I A=-i^~S l'~t'L Fk Ev i 1.=N ul'Y,Ai'. ~ There should he an SRO, or a special liaison that the students are rnmfortablc with, in all schools. • .School Resource Clf~icers should be aware of cultural isrtees and differencest ~ School Resource Officers need to integrate within the schools and student populations, and interact with the students more often so r4tey are able to recognize when something occurs chat is out of character. Get in there! ~ When fights (verbal and physical) and other abusive types of behavior occur within schools, School Resource Officers should intervene and, if appropriate, take the perpetrator and vic- tim to the school counselors to tall: about the problematic relationship and help develop a permanent and safe solution. • To guarantee safety, seyarate the teens atul enrure they meet separately with the counselor. • if necessary, an .SRO sGaukl call the local police. ~20()b Am¢rICOn Bpf.4550GI(1f~Of1 ZQ < I'.IY 4l I N I)l~?Iti~i Vn 11Y ~ V IYi'Y'i.A?'.4„ Tin ~~in il~~ r~~n~ir~n R~~n1n1~nic~n fir ®m~s~i~ ~ii~l~n~~ ran iz~tic~n~ ¦ Please don'c call teen dating violence "domestic violence" and don't treat it the same or many teens won't take your advice. Our relationships are different than adult relationships, and we view xhings differently than adults! ¦ }f you haverit been educated or trained on teen dating violence issues and how they're differ- ent from adult issues, seek training and get educated. Know the realities and differences. Gee iu there! • Be aware ofcrsltural differences and needs toot ¦ Domestic violence organizations should educate and train their entire staff on what can be done to help teen victims of dating violence. ¦ Domestic violence organizations and police officers need to work together to educate other people who work with teens, concerning the characteristics of adult domestic violence that may get a start in violent teen relationships. `ir' ¦ Paying special attention m cultural differences and needs, domestic violence organizations specializing in services to teens should: • Help create teen support groups in the <iigh schools. • Develop intea-net-based took: instant messaging, cour:.re[ing, and appropruzte referral in frir- mation - all dealing with teen dating violence issues. • Use live dramatic presentations (e.g. °The Yellow Dress) artd real testimoniak to tench teens about the reality and seriousness of terra dating violence. • Develop effective teerrinfluenced slogarv and warniszg sibnar m put on posters, bumper.mick- ers, peracik, and t-shirts, etc. and get tee;u to help you dzctribute them in all high school in your urea. ¦ Learn about the signs a teen might give off that will tell you they are or may be abusive. • Tharagh they have a reputation for being aggressive or violent, they're act very nice with a person they are pursuing. • They act very respectful ofyou and other adults, but yotCve heard suiriec that they're abrasive and rude, or have a reputatiara for being a bully. • They treat their parents badly. • He is very disrespectful of his mother. • They seem sullen, angry, and don't have many fiiendc. "rrr' 02006 Amerlmn Bar Ass«'aeon ZS i~-Nni tk v DF nrt~S ',i i+~'i rsCwi 1~CH nnra.U!v£ ~ Domestic violence organinrions should place teen dating violence warning signs and pre- vention information in places like high school restrooms and locker rooms. • The information should be culturally diverse arrd include advice for both victims and perpe- trators, and fnr males arul females. ~ Develop a general awareness education program for school personnel, educating them on teen dating violence. • Zhe proga"am should be propnrtiorzate to the size and character of the srbool. • Help school administrators create school policies that dorti interfere with the victim corning forwart~ rather encoairager them zo do so. • Give culturally sensitive presentatioru that aLro utilise legal termirmlogy in a dear and sim- ple rnarrner that earn be easily urulerstovd. • Don't use `legalese.r' e Don't insist on running the `awareness show' alone! Instead, ask us teenagers what we've experienced, what we think, and what our suggestions are...and ask us to help spread the knowledge! e As the adult, don't tell teens how they feel or what they did wrong; don't tell them what to do or how to do it. Instead, use qualified teens to help you do that so the teen audiences will listen and take the advice. ~ Encourage the creation of teen-led organizations to address teen dating violence -because teens are really effective working with other xeens! ® Domestic violence organizations should train `student leaders' about [een dating violence and how they can help their peers, while at the same time being careful not to leave anyone out -including the LGBT students. • Student leaders'sbould be a diverse and respected group of students that represents every group and `clique' in the school. • Use qualified teens for outreach efforts in middle and high schools. • Target 5th arrd 6th graders, when they are first entering into relatioruhips, and oath them what a healthy relationship is. • Dnre't attempt to talk to studxuts about teen daair:g violence isnies without a qualified teem there to make the presentation with you; let the teen tell teen stories arul give advire to the audience... with your gentle participation and guidaneer ~ Be aware that some teens will try hard to demonstrate no signs of abuse when they are being victimized (e.g. a `perfect satdenr' someone who goes about their c{ally responsibilities like a robot someone who constantly dresses in clothing that covers them up; or someone who talks about their relationship as if it's unusually `perfect.'). 0.)1006 Amemm~ Bar Assoctanon 26 i. ~i HSJ i v tai-LS t~ca v.CV, l t4 ~n'~hA(iv? a Domestic violence organizations should also be supportive of a teen pcrpetraror's aced for help and effective services. • Don't ignore their need for effective services.' He/p teen peryetrators get the quality and effec- tive services they need so they don't grow into abusive adults. • Dntit talk badly about them to the victinH or simply suggert they be `put away' Remember, the victim probably 6iad feelings for them and still may cure about them. • Teeru dorit roam other teens to just be lacked up and lose their chance to have a good life! s Domestic violence organizations should create special shehers and community organizations ro deal specifically with teen dating violence. 4r+ CJ 2006 American Bm Ass«imlon 27 i ~re,v 'it v ov; n-VS e tv~.. rkFV i ~ ch in~tta:er'