PL-SPP-2022-000016 E. Utyro Testimony 01.03.23

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others. Secondly, I attempted to do session work with clients without a strong foundation of practices and a strong relationship with mentors. I had to learn by making mistakes. While this is true in many occupations, working with people's emotions, sexuality and wounding is very challenging work and requires a very high level of consciousness which i did not always possess. While I meditated,prayed and used tools that supported hundreds of people and myself, I don't claim to have always known what was best for people. For instance, in the past I was too quick to give hands on work to clients who asked for it. I learned that people can only benefit from touch after they are in touch with themselves and have body awareness, emotional awareness and ability to speak their truth. Without this, any touch could be harmful for a client and dangerous for a practitioner. I also underestimated the wounding from our patriarchal culture and the historic abuse and suppression of women's sexuality. I thought that just because i wanted to do good people would sense my love and care. Many people did, but some did not. At this time I do not do much hands-on session work (i have done less and less over the last several years) and have taken some steps to ensure I don't cause harm. (I follow all laws in different jurisdictions i work in and don't do any hands on sexual work in Hawai'i or in the United States.) I only do touch work with women who have already received touch work from a woman and who are able to take full responsibility for their choices and requests. I do not tell clients what they should do but inquire as to their perceptions, emotions, sensations, desires and boundaries. Due to patriarchal wounding, consent is not enough. For sexual healing and empowerment to occur, women must express desire and make requests. Anyone doing healing work needs to be humble, listen and not impose their ideas on what would be helpful for a client. Without clearly and soberly expressing desires and making requests, women can fall back into shame, self- judgment and believe they were violated. So I made mistakes in focusing more on openness than on empowerment. Due to the pace of my schedule and traveling much of the time, i also was too quick sometimes and progressed through subject matter and experiences without adequate preparation, understanding and time to integrate. While I have addressed this in my work, I want to acknowledge it is an issue particularly for men working with women as one of the wounds is men being too quick and insensitive to women. Meditating, going slow, listening, breathing and feeling are more healing and helpful than any sophisticated or intimate touch technique. It is arrogant and egotistical of me to think I know best and damaging to try to find validation from another's response. Without deep self-love and knowledge, a practitioner is vulnerable to fooling themselves that their actions are designed to benefit another while in reality they are being subconsciously driven to support a wounded psyche. I have also been too quick to engage sexually with people without feeling myself and understanding them and their reasons for deciding to be sexual with me. I thought that consent, eros and openness was all that was needed for positive experiences. I was wrong. While I might